Day 34 - Keeping Schtum!

K___'s dillema: following on from yesterday's Blog about her first appointment with a midwife, she now has to book the requisite time off work. It's an 11.00 appointment. Legally and quite correctly, she is entitled to any time off required for medical appointments to do with her pregnancy. However, since the appointment is before the 12 week 'all clear', she's not that keen to start telling people why she needs the time off.

She can, of course, just take it as holiday. But it brings up this whole thing of not telling anyone. I know that I really wanted to tell someone about it when I first knew; I managed to resist though! I just blank out people's names and write about it on the Interwebulator instead (which is definitely different, okay? Stop looking at me like that.).

These are the people I'm most looking forward to telling our news (I'm sure K___ will add a comment with her list):

• My parents - this will be their first grandchild and it's very obvious that they're dying for 'em. I imagine they're going to be over the moon! I'm pretty much ten years older than my dad was when I was born. That was usual then, this is usual now, I guess.
• My brothers - we're all settled down now, or nearly there and they will be thrilled! Also, I've done most of the big milestones first, so it kind of feels natural it should be this way. I'm sure that's just because I'm the oldest and it wouldn't matter a jot if I wasn't, of course! I wouldn't want to be in a Jane Austen story... "Middle brother; you have spoken to a lady before your elder sibling in defiance of the natural order of things and brought great shame on this family. Consider yourself banished." They'll be stoked!
• Nana - I maybe should have put this top of the list. Without getting all over emotional, Nana's 91 (in fact, she's 91 on the day I'm writing this, a day before it will be published) and she's not got a lot of life left in her. Her memory is often suffering from the human equivalent of stackdump errors, and her sight's very poor. Though she still lives by herself, she's quite dependant on daily visits from my mother and she's no longer the extremely bright, irreverant and creative woman I grew up with. Despite this, she's still recognisably herself and we can still work each other up into hysterical laughter on a good day. Although it may be selfish of me, I want Nana to see our child particularly since, if we have a girl, it's going to be named after her... though with a slight twist.
• S___ - S____ is my surrogate sister. I've known her since we were 17 and she was going out with my best mate M___. She's pregnant with her third sproglet and will be due a short while before ours. In fact, if her previous births are any sort of measure, she will probably go two weeks over and be very close indeed!

Of course, I shouldn't miss out my mates in general. They will be completely delighted for us, and I don't mean any insult by not putting them in the list above! The majority of my friends are childless at present. M___ and B____ are expecting a bit before us but that's about it, apart from my college mates; I don't see them that often though (but probably should make a bit more of an effort).

Of course, once the secret's out, everything will surely change. It goes from being our private, special thing to something with a much wider group of 'interested parties'. Did you resent other people's intrusion into your intimate secret, or did you welcome the support of a wide network of friends and family? Is it different for men and women? I'd be interested to hear how disruptive it might (or might not) be.