One of my friends has just become an aunty for the second time, and announced this on a mailing list that a bunch of us are on. The first response, from a parent, said 'Congratulations. Are you feeling broody yet?' with a winking emoticon added. Her partner then replied that she wasn't and not only that, reading my blog had made him realise "that we've made the right decision by not having sprogs!"
The people on this particular list can be broken down into bastards and not bas... No, hang on... That's what we say behind their backs. Forget I ever said that. I meant to say parents, those who probably will go on to become parents, a few whose feelings I don't know on this subject (and are thus irrelevant to this conversation because they didn't take part) and those who absolutely won't.
One parent and two probable future parents questioned how my blog could have done this and received the answer that it was where I'd written about things like not being able to buy as many CDs, or how it would make it harder to do get-togethers and the like. He admitted he was probably selectively picking the bits that supported his case but stood by that. He added that he particularly hated when those with children say things like, 'Ah, but who's going to look after you in your old age?'
I can agree with that last part. That is a frighteningly crass thing to say and if anyone really is thinking of having children for that reason, they'd be better off paying the money it would have cost into a high interest account and getting a professional to do it! As for the whole, 'well, I like my life and I don't want to change it' I have the following view:
Fair enough!
Some people get really funny about feeling that other people must have children and that they're missing out if they don't, but I feel about it much the same as I do about gay marriages... bear with me; this does make sense - I think. Some people make the argument that if gay people are allowed to marry, it will devalue the institution of marriage for straight people. I've never seen how two gay people getting hitched could affect my marriage any more than Posh and Becks being married does. Or indeed, the most perfect-married couple in the world (who may even be gay for all it matters) doesn't affect our marriage.
I feel much the same about the having kids thing. If a couple wants to have kids, then great. And if they don't, well equally great. Either way, it doesn't affect how I'll feel about having children. I won't feel validated because of my friends choose to do the same or isolated if they didn't. So, I sincerely hope that no one would ever think that just because we're joining the parent gang, that we're also looking down on them for being childless. If they are really too stupid to see how having a small thing that shits, pisses and pukes on you and costs you loads of money is the most wonderful experience in the world, then more fool them...
And anyway, as another of our friends says, she and our other friends who don't want kids are not 'childless', as that implies something is missing. They're 'child-free'. Quite right too.
The people on this particular list can be broken down into bastards and not bas... No, hang on... That's what we say behind their backs. Forget I ever said that. I meant to say parents, those who probably will go on to become parents, a few whose feelings I don't know on this subject (and are thus irrelevant to this conversation because they didn't take part) and those who absolutely won't.
One parent and two probable future parents questioned how my blog could have done this and received the answer that it was where I'd written about things like not being able to buy as many CDs, or how it would make it harder to do get-togethers and the like. He admitted he was probably selectively picking the bits that supported his case but stood by that. He added that he particularly hated when those with children say things like, 'Ah, but who's going to look after you in your old age?'
I can agree with that last part. That is a frighteningly crass thing to say and if anyone really is thinking of having children for that reason, they'd be better off paying the money it would have cost into a high interest account and getting a professional to do it! As for the whole, 'well, I like my life and I don't want to change it' I have the following view:
Fair enough!
Some people get really funny about feeling that other people must have children and that they're missing out if they don't, but I feel about it much the same as I do about gay marriages... bear with me; this does make sense - I think. Some people make the argument that if gay people are allowed to marry, it will devalue the institution of marriage for straight people. I've never seen how two gay people getting hitched could affect my marriage any more than Posh and Becks being married does. Or indeed, the most perfect-married couple in the world (who may even be gay for all it matters) doesn't affect our marriage.
I feel much the same about the having kids thing. If a couple wants to have kids, then great. And if they don't, well equally great. Either way, it doesn't affect how I'll feel about having children. I won't feel validated because of my friends choose to do the same or isolated if they didn't. So, I sincerely hope that no one would ever think that just because we're joining the parent gang, that we're also looking down on them for being childless. If they are really too stupid to see how having a small thing that shits, pisses and pukes on you and costs you loads of money is the most wonderful experience in the world, then more fool them...
And anyway, as another of our friends says, she and our other friends who don't want kids are not 'childless', as that implies something is missing. They're 'child-free'. Quite right too.
Once again W. Shakes his spear in the quote: "To bare or not to bare?" Unlike the fozzy bear.
ReplyDeleteNo, I agree with you. If two consenting adults want to solemnise their relationship, that should be a matter for them alone and best of luck to them.
ReplyDelete