Day 95 - One Third Down

Day 93, I have realised, marked the official move from first to second trimester, one third of the pregnancy gone, so I went and checked up on junior's progress. There's a million websites and magazine articles and books that all claim to have the real skinny on what's happening week by week. Do you know something? None of them agree! Even allowing for the fact that any 'This is what your baby looks like at week X'-stuff is inevitably generic, there's still quite a range of sizes, weights and developmental milestones listed.

However, from what I can tell, this is where we are at week 13.

• The baby's fingers and toes are well defined - we know this much from the Nuchal scan - but also in place by 13 weeks are the incriminating unique whorls, loops and arches upon the tips, so watch it, junior; we can prove it was you.
• Eyelids, lashes and brows are all in evidence.
• Hair maybe growing on the baby's head (although not if it takes after its slaphead daddy, it won't).
• The baby can suck its finger/thumb. Stupid thing. Doesn't it realise how much it's going to cost in orthodontistry in later years?
• S/he can yawn, stretch and make faces. Probably at Daddy, when he says inane things to his wife's tummy.
• The genitals are clearly visible during an ultrasound. We didn't see anything at the Nuchal, because the baby wasn't in the right position. In fact, not only are the genital visible, but they're now working. Junior is having its first piss about now, consisting of the amniotic fluid that it swallows on a continual basis as it swims in the womb. So unhygienic, honestly...
• Continuing on the rude bits theme, if it's a girl baby, as K___ remains convinced, the baby will now have about 2 million eggs in her ovaries, though this will be down to a mere million by the time she's born via a process called 'atresia', where immature eggs are re-absorbed by the body. By the time an average woman is 17, she will retain just 200,000 eggs. I say 'just'. It's still enough for a monthly period for nearly 16,667 years, so...
• The foetus is now about 7 to 8 cm long from crown to bum and weighs about 23 grams (which, if the people who believe in such things were right would equate to a soul and two grams of baby...). According to a quick Google Image search, this is a very popular weight for a single dart (as in Jockey Wilson). Other things that might weigh the same were a wristwatch or a pair of sunglasses.

For K___ the changes may be as follows:

• Morning sickness subsides. Nope. She's barely had it. The odd bit of vertigo and certainly a few blinding headaches, but not up-chucking.
• Visible baby bump. If you've read previous entries, you'll know that K___'s is definitely there. It's also emphasised by her rubbing her hand across the bump but this is at least partly motivated by the vain hope that someone on the Docklands Light Railway might actually stand up and give her a seat in the morning.
• Heartburn. Oh hurrah - bonus. There's something to look forward to. This happens because as the womb moves up inside the abdomen, it pushes the stomach into a smaller space than it is used to, and this may cause 'acid splashing', a phrase which brings to mind the scene in Alien when the stuff melts through several decks.
• Breasts may start to produce colostrum. This is a thick, yellow, nutrient-rich fluid that forms the baby's first meals. It's designed like a baby's version of a multi-vitamin tablet. In addition to the high concentration of nutrients, colostrum also has a mild laxative approach, to kickstart the baby's pooing. Hang on - are we sure this is a good thing? Colostrum has large quantities of antibodies in it to protect the new and vulnerable child. I suspect that though she's extremely tolerant of what I write in this blog, if I start going into intimate details of what K___'s breasts are doing, she might be forced to do a Karate move on my throat - an occasionally-threatened punishment that I like to think of as 'Preggers Plays Chop'.
• Finally, it says before me, 'Many couples also notice a distinct libido lift in the second trimester'. Obviously if I'm not going to be discussing my wife's knockers in fear of a violent attack upon my person, I'm even less likely to be discussing anything about our sex life, but if all my posts suddenly become very light-hearted and jolly...