Don't Read a Book, Call Up Instead

I've been thinking a lot about blogging recently. We hope that one day our beautiful daughter will read this blog and discover our our hopes and dreams and the day to day joys of her growth from an egg and sperm to fully-formed mini person. We hope to continue blogging her childhood and any future pregnancies. Almost like a time capsule for her future.

I also find it interesting how blogging helps friends stay in touch but at the same time brings together people of like interests across the world. When I start to tell our friends about what Olivia has been up to they say, 'oh yes, we read that on your blog'. There are folks out there who never comment but keep abreast with happenings in the family M. I guess you must kind of forget that you haven't spoken to someone in person when you are able to keep so up-to-date with their lives via their blogs. It's the family newsletter for the 21st century!

Blogging technology means we are all able to broadcast our thoughts to a wider audience. You tend to pick up regular readers you have never met and likewise read the musing of folk on other continents. I thought I would recommend a few blogs that I have been reading recently. It is a case of, 'if you liked our blog, try this'.

We've mentioned the Zygote Daddy and Papa Bradstein blogs before but they are well worth a visit for a father's perspective on pregnancy and parenthood. Preganant Bloke also looks at the thrills and spills of pregnancy from the blokes point of view.

Life Is Just So Daily is a blog covering many topics but particularly parenthood, following the adventures of the adorable Gage. The Expectant Blogger explores the multitude choices facing expectant parents. Pregnantly Plump is a female perspective on all things pregnancy and baby; Am I Really Someone's Mommy? is another, albeit a little further down the road, being post birth now.

Moving away from the baby theme I will also give a big up to my 'bestest friend' Mrs W. Her blog Sun Salutation is surreal and beautiful, just like her!

Move Silently on Their Easy Heels

Yesterday we went to baby massage as usual but instead of massage the final class in the course was a taster session for baby yoga. The class involved yoga poses and stretching exercises, some exercises for the baby and some for the mummies, including using the baby as a benchpress weight! I actually enjoyed this much more than baby massage and Olivia seemed much more engaged, although that may be because she is so much older than she was when we started the massage course and more alert and engaged generally. We are going to start a full mum and baby yoga class in two weeks after the Easter break.

On a different note Olivia's belly button looks pretty good now and is much flatter than it was before but still has a little bit of the umbilical tissue inside so I think it might need just one more treatment.

All Out at Sea

Now, I will concede that it's yet another video of Olivia batting something, but it's much better shot than the previous ones, she's on her Baby-Gym and it features an octopus, which must surely count for something? Her repertoire of autonomous tricks is pretty restricted to cacking her pants and batting at things at this stage. Count yourselves lucky.

Silent as the Moonlight, I Come to Lay my Head

Here's a cheery statistic; new parents can lose about two month's worth of sleep in the first year of their baby's life! Yay-ola!

This stat comes from a corporate press release masquerading as a proper news story on the BBC, a survey of 500 mums and dads* by the toy company Tomy (see http://www.tomy.co.uk/sleep/ for a free PDF, no info harvesting at least).

Apparently a third of parents lose 90 minutes of sleep a night, equivalent to a full night's sleep a week. Half of new parents argue over who has the least sleep. We don't. It's K___. I sleep like a log most of the time. K___ sleeps with two earplugs in listening to me snoring and the baby chirping like she's a Mogwai. The article goes on to say that mothers say they typically respond to a baby's cries within 30 seconds, whereas partners take 5 minutes or so, and mothers also say that 43% of men sleep through altogether. Only 1% of mothers claim to be able to do the same. 20% of parents say they are woken four or more times a night during the first month.

A quarter of parents claim these experiences have put their relationships under strain, which is a fairly sobering statistic. Even worse, 20% of parents think their friends lie about how much sleep they're getting.

I think there's a number of interesting points here. Firstly, men tend to be heavier sleepers than women. They just do, and it's about as deliberate as them having a penis. Or work it the other way round, if you prefer. You filthy light-sleeping hussys. Either way, like blaming one sex for having a particular set of genitals, it's a pretty pointless business trying to turn it into a blame issue. Secondly, the majority of two parent families will have the man going back to work whilst the mother stays at home with the child, at least for a time, and for many that may mean that the mother ends up taking a greater share of the nightime care duties ("sexist!").

The biggest thing I take from this, is how bloody lucky we seem to be. At risk of boasting, or having 20% of our readers think we're lying, Olivia generally sleeps from about 8 pm to 6 am with no interruptions (which according to the pdf is somewhat rare and unusual. Must check if baby is narcoleptic...). And has done for about three weeks. This doesn't mean we get uninterrupted sleep. Or rather, it doesn't mean K___ gets uninterrupted sleep. To be honest - and I'm not saying it's fair - I generally do. K___ wakes for every little noise, worried in case Olivia has got wet or been feed after midnight, and is about to turn into a Gremlin. Overall, however, we're pretty lucky, it seems.

Sleep's so last year though, isn't it?


* Rather confusingly, the BBC story that announced this, and the blurb here both say 500 mums and dads, but the pdf says 5,000 mums. 500 seems more likely, since for a population of 650,000 (based on UK live births 2005 (Nat Stats)), you only need 384 respondents to have the most commonly used confidence of 95% +/- 5% (which means that to ensure that you can be 95% sure that if you asked the entire population of mums (650,000-ish, not accounting for multiple births) a question, the response would be within 5% of the response levels you got from asking your 385 respondents); any more would be overkill.

I am a geek.

You Strong Enough to Be

Her coordination and strength is definitely much increased. This morning she yanked Mr Whoozit so hard that he came flying off the toy bar of her 'wobble' seat.

Olivia Strikes Back

I've been trying to get the time to do this for a couple of weeks now...

This is a follow up to the award-winnning(*) short 'Olivia and Mr Whoozit', and shows how much her hand to eye co-ordination has come on in such a short period of time. This is in contrast to the shonky camera work from her father, you should note.







* Least Appropriate Use of Music

Just a Revolutionary with a Pseudonym

Dad to Be and myself were talking the other day about how our blogging names are kind of out of date so from now on my herioc alter ego will be known as Mummy M.

I'm just off to put my knickers on over my tights...

Weight of the World

Monday is clinic day so yesterday I got Olivia weighed as usual. She is now 11lbs 11 oz and is still exactly following the 50th centile line. It is funny how she seems to alternate having a big week like last week with having a smaller gain this week. My friend E_ wa saying that this is the reason why she only takes her baby I_, who is two weeks older than Olivia, every other week. Maybe I will start doing that at some point but at the moment I find that even if it is cold and raining it is an excuse to get out of the house. Miss O is all tucked up with her CozyToes and her rai cover and it is Mummy who gets freezing and soaked to the bone!!

I'm making a concerted effort to lose some of my baby lard before a few weddings I have to go to in the summer and autumn so walking is where it is at for the moment. I have a pedometer and did my target 10,000 steps yesterday. I will also have to start doing something about the mig mound of jelly that used to be my stomach. It was never exactly flat but now with the lard and the stretch marks it looks like a 3D hilly road map - NOT a good look! It is now a case of watch this space and see if it gets smaller :)

Have You Ever Met a Lady, Screaming Angst Potential?

This weekend while F_ was playing music with his band me and Olivia went off to spend time with some of the band WAGs, including my best friend L. Olivia was on top form and behaved very well. When spending time with the child free, especially if they intend to have children at some point, it is always good if she is well behaved as I am aware of not wanting to either put people off or have them patting themselves on the back for not having their own screaming bundle of joy :) We had a civilised lunch, during which Olivia slept soundly in her buggy and she then spent the afternoon playing to her admiring audience and napping in her 'wobble chair' (our name for her vibrating seat). In the evening once she was safely tucked into her moses backet the grown ups nibbled on Marks and Spencer food for the lazy and watched 'The Devil Wears Prada' while enjoying a 'medicinal' glass of wine. It was nice to know that life can continue very much as it ever was even now we have a child.

Here is Miss Olivia enjoying her time at nice Auntie L_'s house.

Having been on such good form all weekend she has decided to be in a big grump now she is home and is having a bit of a grizzle at the moment.

I Am Your Childhood Friend

Here is a picture of Olivia and her friend G_ , our friend S_'s youngest, from the other week. While the Mummies got ready to go out the babies had a chat. She has quite the social circle!

She May Be the Face I Can't Forget

As Zygote Daddy would say, here in gratuitious cuteness is Miss Olivia...

How Can It Hurt

We went to get Olivia's belly button done AGAIN today. Hopefully this will be the last treatment but we will have to see how it goes. The nurse was much better than the one we have seen before - she applied a ring (kind of like a corn plaster) to Olivia's tummy to make sure the Silver Nitrate only treated the affected part of her belly button and put a little round plaster on afterwards. I don't think it can hurt her as she never even cries when they treat it.

Hopefully once this finally clears up we can actually move to the Bambino Mio nappies. When we tried her on them last time F_ wasn't very happy as when they were wet they were wet all the way up to her belly button and as this is still weeping on her vests we didn't think it was good for it to get covered in wee all the time. In the meantime we have continued to use biodegradable disposables which is better than standard nappies but is still making a huge pile of landfill somewhere.

And You're Sick to Your Stomach

Nothing *quite* says 'I love you Mummy' like vomit down the cleavage...

You Learned Your Lesson Far Too Late

Went to a Postnatal Group this afternoon at the clinic where I usually get Olivia weighed.. An NHS letter came in the post from the Heath Vistitor inviting us book a place as spaces were limited. This all made it seem like it might actually be worth going to but the first session was a bit disappointing. It ended up just being a discussion thing with a load of mums in a room nattering about babies. No offence to those there, all of whom seemed nice and a few of whom I knew from our antenatal classes, but I have my own friends to sit around and natter with. I thought it would be more along the lines of the antenatal classes where we were actually taught stuff. The Health Visitor did ask us about what we wanted to achieve in the next 3 meetings and people asked for information on establishing sleep routines and weening so maybe the future sessions might be more interesting. Next week, however, there is someone coming along to do a session on baby massage and as I am doing a whole course on that I don't think we will bother. I did have an opportunity to get Olivia weighed though, as we missed clinic yesterday as we were coming back from Lincolnshire. She has had another big gain this week and put on 13oz over the 8 days to get up to 11lbs 5oz. She is still following the 50th centile though so remains terribly average :)

Does Your Mother Know That You're Out?

One thing I haven't said yet is of course I had my first Mother's Day at the weekend. F_ shopped on behalf of Olivia and brought several lovely books about motherhood. Olivia also got Daddy to take a dictation and sent me a card - her grasp of the English language is really coming on :) My brother-in-law and his girlfriend were also kind enough to send a card to wish me a Happy Mother's Day. It still seems funny to think that I actually am a mother!

I Feel So Strange What's Wrong With Me?

Since we have had Olivia, I realise how difficult life with a buggy can be. Some shops have become totally off-limits because the hassle of steps, heavy doors or narrow aisles. I am amazed that now that they have those cool double-decker buggies for two children that people still have traditional side-by-side double buggies; I find it difficult to get my single buggy in some shops.

You become persona-non-grata in many restaurants and cafes. My friend S_ and I recently went out for lunch to a local restaurant with Olivia and her youngest child, baby G_. When we got there the place was empty but unfortunately we walked in at the same time as another pair of mothers with prams and I think they thought they were going to be inundated with babies. Pretty much as soon as we sat down we got the hard sell about the prams - did they fold down - yes - but the babies were in them and I generally use both hands to eat!!! This was 11.30am on a Monday lunchtime and the place remained empty throughout our visit - by the time we left at 1pm there was us, the other two mums and one other table of four. They were by no means expecting a rush of people but still felt obliged to point out to us that we would have to do something with the prams if it got busy. I think they did realise that they had over done it a bit as they then started fussing around asking us if it was warm enough for the babies and offering to put the heating up. I don't think we will be going there again in a hurry.

Some places go so far as to put signs up. It is phrased as 'sorry, no buggies or prams allowed' but you have to wonder if they aren't just trying to make it hard to bring a buggy because they don't want babies. When we were all pregnant, the NCT girls used to visit a certain local coffee shop but that is now a no-go area as they do not allow prams. Even places which don't mind babies are logistically impossible to access as there is nowhere to put a buggy. Last week we went somewhere that is baby friendly , with changing facilities with free nappies etc. but there is just no space to put more than about 2 buggies. We started off outside on the patio and when it turned out to be too cold for the babies, they pushed together some tables inside and the six of us were all in a line facing a wall and didn't end up eating lunch as we had to leave the buggies outside and hold the babies on our laps!!! We end up going somewhere that sells really mediocre food and drinks just because it has a baby room with plenty of space for the prams and also allows breastfeeding (don't even get me started on that).

The other option is to leave the buggy outside. Now, maybe I am uptight, but I don't feel comfortable leaving my buggy out in the street while I take my baby inside. There isn't anything else I own worth several hundreds of pounds which I would leave out in the rain to get stolen. Baby-oriented places such as clinics will lend buggy locks but most places do not.

When you don't have kids, you notice people pushing buggies but you never really think about the logistics of the whole thing. You also realise how inaccessible a lot of the world must be to people who use wheelchairs who have even more lmited options of where to go and how to get there.

We Get the Toys That We Deserve

The other day I went to meet the NCT girls and babies. Rather than meet in a local cafe as we have done in previous weeks, we met up at the house of E_. Only 4 of the 6 were present due to prior commitments and illness but we lined up the babies on the baby gyms and enjoyed a very civilised lunch and glass of wine. I can't say any more as everyone knows that the first rule of baby club is 'you DON'T talk about Baby Club'.

Here are the babies enjoying their play dates (Olivia is second from the left).

Waiting For the World to Change

So, Olivia is now just over 2 months old.

My parents noticed a big change in her. As well as being physically bigger she has also changed in abilities and personality. She is much more alert. She is starting to smile and squeal in response to things and not just at her own whim. She also gurgles and engages in 'conversation' with us when we play with her. As F_ has already indicated she is reaching for and batting toys placed to the side of her. She has also started to grasp my clothes and tug on my hair (the waist length hair down loose may have to change at some point) in the last few weeks.

Looking back over the photos of her short life I notice so many changes and it seems like she has always been a part of our lives and yet at the same time I cannot believe that only 9 weeks ago today I was in labour and hoping I might get to meet my baby girl soon.

Hot Fuzz

We've spent this last weekend with the in-laws in Grantham. It has been the site of a momentous stage in our post-baby relationship; the first date.

Yes, at two months and two days old, we left Olivia with her Grandma and Grandpa and headed off into the real world without her. We planned to catch a movie and then have a meal. Perhaps, the wrong way round, but that was how the timings worked out (and we were aware from our blogfriends, The Bradsteins, that first dates do not always go without a hitch). With their experience in mind, we were careful to ensure that we checked the time of the movie carefully! K___'s mum and dad only live three minute's walk from the cinema, we didn't actually leave the house until the programme had got underway. We were able to cope with the idea of not seeing some adverts, for some reason.

Our choice of flick was Hot Fuzz, a peculiarly British take on the US cop buddy movie, replete with hundreds of pastiches of the genre. We certainly enjoyed it, and I'm sure it will be a DVD purchase at some point. Some of the cartoony violence had the entire audience screaming with a mixture of disgust and laughter, and the trans location of US/John Woo-style gun play in a tranquil English village made for some amusing scenes.

Upon leaving we made our way to the Chinese restaurant at the top of K___'s parent's road. Before the cinema, K___ had suggested that we could get a take-out and take it back home, but we agreed to see how we felt at the time. We felt okay. Part of this was undoubtedly the fact that we were a mere couple of minutes from where Olivia was. I think it's fair to say that I was less bothered about being away for a few hours than K___ was, and undoubtedly this is because I'm so used to going to and being at work for eleven hours a day, five days a week. K___ was a bit more apprehensive; the only times she's had away from Olivia have been when I've taken her off to see my parents for a few hours. Whilst neither of us worried that she'd come to any harm in Grandma's capable hands, it's just that thing of neither of us being with her.

Nevertheless, we had an excellent sit-down meal in the restaurant (top tip: five spice tofu - yum!) and enjoyed having some time as a couple rather than as Mummy and Daddy. An hour later, we walked back to K___'s parents. Olivia's nappy needed changing.

We'd been gone a little over three hours. We really must do it again.

Surface Scratched Where the Needles Play

Olivia has her first round of immunisations. As I am such a total girl F_ took a half day off work to hold her while they did the injections. Seeing as how he has to hold my hand when I have injections I didn't think i was qualified to hold the baby!! So, I turned away while F_ held her for one injection in each of her lovely chubby thighs. She cried momentarily when each needle went in but soon settled down and went for a nap in the buggy.

What I did think was a bit strange was that the nurse made me look at the bottles with her to verify what was being injected and the expiry dates of the vaccines. Was this somehow supposed to admonish them of any responsibility if they happened to acceidentally inject her with out of date cat flu vaccine? There was of course the added dimension that most people wouldn't have a clue what they were talking about anyway. I had read up on the NHS website and knew that what she was having was:

Diptheria, tetanus, pertussis (whooping cough), polio and Hib (DTaP/IPV/Hib)
Pneumococcal conjugate vaccine (PCV)

She has to have the former again plus Meningitis C at 3 months.

I've Got Two Left Feet

On a trip to a large town nearby with our friend S_ and her baby G_ I got Olivia some little black patent shoes in the Mothercare sale the other day, thinking they would be cute for a wedding we will be going to in July. When I got them hope and took them out of the packaging I realised that one was a size 1, one was a size 2 and they were both left feet. Oh dear, looks like another trip to Mothercare is in order!

Olivia now has a shoe collection that might one day rival Mummy's (although in my defence I did weed out a lot of pairs I don't wear recently and am now down to about 30 pairs - although the argument for the prosectution is that this is down from about 70 I think) and she now has a pair of cute baby flip flops, a pair of trainers, a pair of ballet style pumps, two pairs of summer sandals and a pair of party shoes. None of these shoes actually fits her as we are still in that difficult 'not fitting into 0-3 months although she is 2 months tomorrow' thing.

The Bottle and the Doctor Get You Through the Day

The Supplemental Nursing System I ordered recently arrived on Monday. I had a go using it on myself but it didn't go well and after about 10 minutes of fruitless trying Olivia was purple and screaming, and we were both pretty frazzled.

Not one to fall at the first hurdle I went to see a breast feeding specialist at out local Sure Start clinic. Sure Start is a government initiative to run childcare and health education for families. Our local clinic runs a variety of initiatives including the baby massage we do on Thursdays and a Wednesday breastfeeding support group. The counsellor showed me how to latch Olivia onto the breast while also using the tube to supplement the breast milk. The idea is that the baby receives the normal top-up of formula or expressed breast milk while latched on to the breast so they still get the food they need but the mother's milk supply is also stimulated at the same time.

Anyway, this time we actually got her to nurse while using the supplementer and she took 3oz of expressed breast milk. I think that the supplementer is something that would have been much better in the beginning few weeks when a real difference could have been made to the supply. It is also fairly faffy and time-consuming and probably better suited to those first few weeks when commitments were minimal and I had F_ around to help out with things. I will try it again on my own but I don't think the SNS is going to be totally replacing the bottles as the medium for supplementing her. The breastfeeding support worker who also come to help me put has asked me if I would be willing to speak to some of their groups in the future about my experiences with breast feeding after a breast reduction.

A lot of the things I am trying at the moment will probably benefit baby no. 2 (no I'm not up the duff after 8 weeks - I'm talking hyperthetically!) more than Olivia as hopefully next time around I will be able to try a lot of what we have worked out through trial and error from the beginning rather than faffing around so much.

Things I have found have increased supply:
Taking the prescription drug Domperidone
Pumping to increase demand and therefore increase supply - although next time I will hire a hospital grade pump to maximise effect for minimum time and effort.
Frequent feeding at the breast - although next time I will use the at breast supplementer as well to ensure maximum stimulation of the milk supply

Next time around supply is likely to be better anyway as lactation encourages formation of new lactation tissue and can also stimulate severed connections within the breast to regrow.

Anyone needing info about breastfeeding after reduction should definitely check out BFAR and I would also strongly recommend the La Leche League book 'Defining Your Own Success' by Diana West. The cheesy title aside this book is crammed with useful tips and info as well as success stories from BFAR mothers.

General breast feeding resources I have found useful are :
Kellymom.com - a website packed full of useful articles and handouts on all aspects of breast feeding
Also the instructional materials of Dr Jack Newman, which can be linked from a variety of websites, including Breast Feeding Online . Dr Jack's handouts cover a variety breast feeding topics while his video clips offer a useful audiovisual resource with practical demonstrations of various apsects of feeding.

Doctor, Ain't There Nothin' I Can Take, I Said, Doctor, to Relieve This Bellyache

We went back to the nurse to have another treatment on Olivia's umbilical granuloma this afternoon. I pointed out the Silver Nitrate burn on her tummy and asked to have something put around her belly button to ensure only the umbilical tissue was treated. Nothing got spilled on her this time. Looks like it might need yet another treatment after this though as it is a fairly substantial bit of umbilical tissue remaining. Apparently about 1 in 500 babies get this condition. Anyway we have another appointment next week to have it looked at again...

I Need Medical Attention...

...Unfortunately our GP surgery doesn't agree. They phoned up to cancel Olivia's appointment as they are short staff. Don't it make you glad to pay your taxes??? So we are now going on Wednesday afternoon to get her belly button checked and further treatment done. At least it will give the original injury extra time to heal before they start poking it around again. I want her to have the treatment she need but I wish it didn't seem so invasive for the poor little sausage.

We did go to clinic as normal to get Olivia weighed. She is perfectly following her 50th centile line and now weighs 10lbs 8oz, having gained 5oz this week. At the moment I am still going weekly for the weigh ins but I guess at some point I will go to fortnightly.

Meanwhile, as Olivia is gaining steadily I have commenced operation 'lose the baby lard'. I gained just under 3 stone during pregnancy and while 1 stone of that vanished overnight (well, over 2 nights - it was a long labour!) the other 2 are set to stick around unless action is taken. So I am weaning myself off the very lovely Aero Bubbles and trying to cut out the rubbish and just eat healthily. As I am still breastfeeding it isn't going to be anything too extreme.

You Made A Big Mistake Alright...

There's nothing like being a new parent.

You tend to become a little obsessed with the small person that has recently arrived in your life, and understandably so, given how they dominate your every action, even when you're asleep. Some sad gits even write blogs about it, apparently.

Equally unsurprisingly, a lot of the conversations you have with people start with a few words about this little person. 'How's your baby doing?' 'Are you getting any sleep yet?' 'Euuwww! How do you cope with the nappies?' etc. It gets to be so that you become conditioned to expect these initial conversations.

Take just now, for example; I popped down in the lift to grab five minutes of the glorious sunlight - it's a balmy March out there, for sure. One of my colleagues from the section I used to work in grabbed the doors as they closed and got in.

'How are you doing?' he said, 'Are you enjoying it?'

'Oh yes, it's really good!' I replied, 'especially now she's become a little more interactive.'

'Great stuff! Listen, I'm going to the shop. I'll see you later.'

And off he went.

Later on, I was having my lunch in one of the 'break out' areas when the same chap wandered in with a couple of his team mates, clutching his sandwiches in his paw. I nodded at him, but wasn't expecting him to come over; clearly he was going to eat with his colleagues. Yet he did come over.

'I've just realised,' he said. 'What you said before about 'her becoming a bit more interactive'? You were talking about your baby, weren't you? I thought you were talking about your boss...'

You May Walk With Your Baby In The Afternoon

Well, we woke up to blazing sunshine again. It was a positively glorious day and so we started out with the plan to go for a walk with the baby as it was such a lovely day. The whole thing turned a bit epic and we ended up walking along the sea front for 6 miles to the large town nearby. Miss Olivia was pretty much oblivious to the whole thing, using the trip in the buggy as the excuse for her afternoon nap as she often does. We did stop on a bench half way and give her a bottle so she learned about a few new things - sunshine, waves lapping (we were lucky that the glorious weather coincided with the tide being in), children playing on the various beaches along the way. What is a family for if not for having a family day out?

The Toys That We Deserve

Okay, here's hoping this works...

Now, obviously to most people, this really isn't very interesting. In fact, it's an over-long, grainy video clip of a baby batting at a toy. But the thing is, Olivia couldn't do this two days ago. She wanted to; you could see her staring at this thing hanging from the handle of her vibrating chair, fascinated by it, but she didn't have the co-ordination to grab it and make it do things.

Now she does.

There's a Hot Hard Hurt Burning Under Her Skin

We are not at all happy about the way Olivia's tummy is at the moment. The Silver Nitrate was obviously dribbled down onto her tummy and perfectly good skin has been burned. I was assured the treatment would not hurt her as there are apparently no nerve ending on the umbilical tissue left behind but there are on normal skin!!! I am going to the surgery again tomorrow to have it checked and possibly treated again and I am going to have stern words with the nurse. Hopefully it will not scar ...

Daddy, Will You Sit Awhile With Me

The Equal Opportunities Commission has just published a report entitled the 'State of the Modern Family'. This is a wide-ranging report into various subjects based on 19,000 children born in the UK between 2000-2001.

The biggest conclusion of the study is about as startling a revelation as H from Steps revealing he was in the gays; namely that less-well off families spend less time with their children. If you ask me, that pretty much stands to reason. Without meaning to be harsh, it is also something that is going to be difficult for many of those families to address - after all, if they were able and willing to get better paying jobs, one assumes they probably would.

Perhaps more interesting from the perspective of this Blog, is the fact that paternal absenteeism during birth and the first three years of a child's life can have significant implications for the child's emotional and behavioural health. Previous research has - 'no shit Sherlock' moment - revealed that a mother's presence is very important to a child's health, but no previous study has shown the effects of paternal absenteeism.

Changes in the amount of flexible-working arrangements available to fathers over the past decade have increased the amount of time new fathers can spend with their children, but despite this and the fact that 63% of new fathers say they don't get to spend enough time with their babies, fathers are less likely to take advantage of the opportunities open to them to rectify the situation.

For those of us who are able to earn a decent salary and are lucky enough to work reasonable hours to do so, stories such as these should make us feel fortunate indeed.

In the past few days, Olivia has become significantly more alert and, frankly, nosey. When she's not held rapt by a bottle, booby or father showing that he can't sing nursery rhymes, her eyes are flicking around the room to latch on to whatever is interesting to a baby. She's starting to smile and even laugh now, and she's has periods where she hangs on my every word.

Who wouldn't want to go home from work for that? Not exactly a hardship, is it?

With thanks to our most splendid friend S_ for pointing this one out to us.

Did You Drink Too Much Too Soon?

We recently changed Olivia's formula from SMA Gold to Hipp First Infant Milk.
When I was pregnant I wanted a few small ready mixed cartons in case I needed them in a hurry. In a push to support breastfeeding (and the cynic in me says there might just be an element of cost cutting) our local hospital equires you to bring your own milk if you want to bottle feed and I wanted to be prepapred in case I had to transfer in a hurry and the breastfeeding didn't work out. These came in very handy when we were told by our midwives that we needed to supplement Olivia with formula. Once they were used up F_ went off to the shops as I wasn't back on my feet and asked the ladies in the chemist what formula was best only to be told something along the lines of 'oh they are all the same so just use whatever'.

Now on closer inspection they are NOT all the same. Once I sat down and read the ingredients on a tin of baby formula my jaw dropped at the zillion ingredients. Although lots of these were vitamins etc. I was left wondering what the hell the rest were! In the early days post delivery we used Waitrose Deliver a few times to stock up on nappies and food.

Without digressing too far onto a topic which could keep me busy for hours lets just say that I strongly believe in the ethos of Waitrose, their environmental stance, support for local products, fair attitude towards producers etc. and would not give my money to certain other major supermarkets. If you want to know more then click here and also check out the excellent 'Sold Out: the True Cost of Supermarket Shopping' by William Young. Without showing myself to be the Guardian reading, polenta eating, tree hugger that I secretly am we believe in recycling, biodegradable (and if her belly button ever heals up washable) nappies etc., farmers markets, supporting local producers and independent shops etc. We also get organic milk and eggs delivered by our milkman and seasonal organic vegetables delivered by Abel and Cole. Ok so I lied, I did digress...

Anyway, whiling away time on the Waitrose website I discovered the Hipp organic baby food range. Never having spent much time in the baby aisle in supermarkets I hadn't really thought about organic baby food at this stage. I knew we wanted to ween Olivia onto home made organic baby food but for some reason it had never occurred to me that there was such a thing as organic formula. So now she has that in addition to breast milk.

Now maybe I am naive in my recent state of motherhood, and will be eating my words in a few months time, but I always find it really annoying when people say things like 'oh, little Johhny will only eat oven chips'. WHY will little Johnny only eat oven chips - surely the adult, the one in charge, and sets the agenda for is eaten by...um...buying it. Unless little Johhny is off down Iceland (a frozen food emporium for our US readers) when Mummy's back is turned buying McCain's finest then where do said oven chips come from???? I know it isn't that easy because my firned never let her baby have sweets, preferring to give her dried fruit as her sweet treats, which all worked well until she went to nursery and saw the contents of everyone else's lunch box! Having said that, thanks to recent government initiatives (nothing to do with jumping on the Jamie Oliver bandwagon - much, honestly) many school no longer allow the packet of Monster Much and Wagon Wheel, which along with Nutella sandwiches of cheapest white bread were the staple foods in my day. So maybe, especially where we will, Olivia will grow up coveting her neighbours roasted vegetable and houmous salad???

So, after another little rant there, the upshot is that Olivia now eats organic food like her Mummy and Daddy. Meanwhile Mummy and Daddy live in fear of the day when little Olivia is invited to her first childrens party at McDonalds...

Has Anyone Seen My Last Marble?

Sleep-deprived new father stumbles around darkened flat late at night trying not to wake up sleeping wife and tiny baby... he stumbles into the bathroom and reaches for the tube on the shelf, squeezes some out onto his toothbrush and starts to brush his teeth. It at this point that he realises that the tube on the shelf was Clinique hand cream... his teeth are now soft and supple, while his wife's hands are very white and plaque free :)

I hurt myself today

Further to my previous post about Olivia having her belly button done...with each subsequent nappy change yesterday her tummy looked yukkier and more sore. By the time F_ got home from work I was almost crying cause I was worried about her. Not sure who to contact at that time of day I ended up phoning one of our midwives, who had initially suggested that we got the cauterisation done, to ask her about it. I think the problem was that the nurse who did it had not told me whst to expect and because it looked so harmless at the time it hadn't occurred to me to ask what was likely to happen. The area around her naval had gone pink and puffy, while her belly button itself had gone grey and sticky and yukky looking.

In the interests of science and to help anyone who has this happen with their baby here it is...those of you of a delicate disposition look away now...












Overnight a lot of the grey stuff came off on her vest. Today it lookes pink and sore but like it is getting better. We have to go again on Monday and have another treatment.

Push the Button

Went with Olivia to get her belly button sorted out. It is a bit of a funny colour but she doesn't seem remotely bothered about the whole thing. We have to go back on Monday and have it done again though. As long as she doesn't end up with an outie :)

She's Like the Wind

We went for our six week GP checks yesterday. My check involved answering the same few questions I have been asked numerous times - do my bowels work, does my bladder work, is everything ok 'down below' (I am amazed at how many of the medical profession refer to the 'front bottom' as 'down below' - were they off sick the day the proper names were taught at medical school?) and have I thought about contraception.

Olivia was as good as gold once her dirty nappy had been removed. Her check involved looking into her eyes, testing her reflexes and strength, inspecting her belly button nd checking for clicky hips. Our long time readers may recal that F_ and I both went a bit green when the clicky hips thing was done during her newborn check so I judiciously looked away at that point. Everything was fine apart from her belly button. I had wanted to mention this to the GP anyway as it has continued to weep since her cord fell off. Both the midwives and health visitor had seen it and told me to get the GP to check it if it hadn't healed by the time we saw him. Apparently she has something called 'umbilical granuloma' which means there is a bit of umbilical cord tissue left behind which isn't healing. It need to be cauterised with Silver Nitrate so the GP gave me a prescription for a Silver Nitrate kit and I have to get the practice nurse to administer it tomorrow morning. As there are no nerve endings in this area this should be a painless procedure for Olivia, although Mummy is likely to turn green as usual.

As the GP hadn't done a weight check we also went along to the health visitor clinic to get Olivia weighed. The health visitor from last week was obviously so traumatised by Olivia's human waterfall impression last week that she had to have an emergency vacation so it was a different woman this week - given our performance last week this was probably for the best. Anyway, she has put on just a reasonable 4oz after the epic 14oz last week so it looks like she isn't turning into Jabba the Hutt just yet and weighs a cuddly 10lbs 3oz. Today we've had a foray into 0-3 month clothing which is still too big for her but less ridiculously so than before.

Here she is with Daddy - as you can see they look very much like each other, sharing as they do a common haircut :) Luckily Olivia doesn't have a goatee.

I've got Olivia some Gripe Water to help her bring up her wind and maybe make her a bit less grumpy. I'm sure when we were kids Gripe Water was the kid's equivalent of gin but now, in the modern age of binge-drinking, I find it is alcohol free.

Here is Olivia proving that her lungs work and that when you remove her dummy you open up a tear in the space/time continuum in the middle of her face.

A Passion Play

A scene from earlier this evening...

Dramatis Personae:
DAD_TO_BE - A mid thirties father of a six week-old baby.
OLIVIA - a six week-old baby.

INT - LOUNGE - NIGHT

A man, DAD_TO_BE is sitting in a dimmed room cradling his baby daughter, OLIVIA, in his arms. His wife has just left the room. He talks to the apparently-sleeping baby quietly.

DAD_TO_BE
(sotto voce)
We love you, Olivia.

DAD_TO_BE looks at the baby as if to guage her reaction. She remains apparently unmoved and asleep.

DAD_TO_BE (CONT.)
(sotto voce)
Daddy loves Olivia.
Daddy thinks Olivia is
his masterwork, yes he does!
Daddy thinks Olivia is the
best thing he has ever made...

The man stares down at his child, full of emotion as, with perfect comedic timing FX: OLIVIA loudly farts.

The baby opens her eyes and smiles.

See It Like a Baby

We have a fairly hectic social schedule at the moment. If I'd have known that having a baby gave you such a full diary I'd have done it years ago:)

We went to meet my friend S_ and her baby G_ on Monday morning and then clinic with my friend E_ and her baby I_ on Monday afternoon. Mid week is time for walks and shopping and then yesterday morning was baby massage in the morning followed by a bit of baby shopping with E_ and I_. I actually had to turn down an invitation as S_ phoned to ask me to go with her to a nearby town for shopping and general wanderings with the babies. I tried to persuade her to go at 11.30, once I had finished baby massage, but she has two older children that needed to be picked up from school/nursery in the afternoon. Today I met all the NCT girls for coffee and then went for lunch with F_, his parents and Nana.

Some of the other options available to the new mother include baby yoga, exercise classes you can take the baby to, mother and baby pilates, swimming clubs, breastfeeding support groups, baby signing classes, story readings etc.etc.- you could do something every day! At this rate I will end up as Olivia's social secretary!

It's a busy life being a baby.

At That Time of the Night

Well...
Miss on Wednesday evening Miss Olivia went to bed at 9 and slept till 6am. Last night she had a nap in the evening and then went down in her crib at 10pm and we woke her at 7am to feed her. Star baby! She still has her nights when she wakes at 3 or 4 but she only ever wakes once if she does and she seems to be starting to get into a better routine. Hooray - not bad for 6 weeks old! It is also nice that she is settling down in the evenings and the screaming routine isn't something she does every day. I was worried about going out for the evening with her as she might just screem the whole time and ruin it for other people but it seems like there is light at the end of the tunnel and even if she still has her moments she will settle down. Apparently 6 weeks is when the crying peaks and then after that it starts to tail off.

Now all I have to do is stop F_ snoring!