Apologies for the long wait for this. Put it down to a mixture of adjusting to the new arrival and the fact that my PC blew up! Almost a week and a new power supply later, and I think it's time that I got this on the blog! This is as accurate as I can remember it, with K___'s assistance. We have the midwife's notes, but when you're in the middle of it all, you're not thinking about remembering it. You just want to get your wife through the next contraction. So, with the caveat that this may not be 100% accurate, here goes...
Oh, and this is slightly gory in places. Not for the faint hearted or those who don’t want to know about K___’s lady garden in graphic detail.
Sunday, 26th October: K___ had been having occasional movement down below since Saturday, and having her ‘show’ (the blood and mucus plug that has bunging up the cervix for the past few months – it often, though not always, means labour is quite close). I had cleared the breakfast room so we could put up the inflatable birthing pool before I went to bed. The next morning, K___ was having irregular, and not intense, contractions. We dropped Olivia off at Grandma's early afternoon, expecting things to gradually ramp up in intensity, but nothing doing. By five o'clock, K___ was getting a little despondent. Olivia's latent phase had lasted 40 hours and poor K___ was exhausted by the end of it. We’d been in SMS contact with the midwife, explaining that the contractions had been ten minutes apart all day, but weren’t intensifying. At K___’s request, Marion, our midwife, came over to examine K___ for dilation. The thought of another long latent phased was making K___ feel a little anxious and the arrival of the midwife was great for getting her to chill a little (as much as you can when you're getting horrendous cramps every few minutes).
Marion arrived at quarter past five. We were actually eating our tea, and K___ hadn’t had a contraction for about half an hour. The two of them disappeared upstairs and Marion established that K___ was about three centimetres dilated, which was ok, but suggested actual labour was still a little way off. By the time we’d finished eating, chatting to Marion all the while, K___ started having contractions again, this time about five minutes apart, but still not intense. Over the next half an hour, K___’s back began to ache. Marion suggest warm water might ease the discomfort, and so, just after six, K___ headed off for a bath. While she was in there, I quizzed the midwife to get an idea of how long it might be for her to get fully dilated. She said a rough guide would be between a half and one centimetres of dilation per hour, suggesting a likely birth time of around 3am. At about half past six, Marion informed our local hospital that K___ was in labour. Marion and I sat in the lounge trying to find something to watch on TV, and occasionally popping in to see K___; me to offer words of encouragement and cups of tea, Marion to check the baby's heart rate and general progress.
K___ had been in the bath for about an hour and a quarter when I was down in the kitchen (directly below the bathroom) making a cup of tea. I became aware of the sound of moaning coming through the ceiling. Not loud per se, but louder than she had been. When I delivered the tea, I asked whether the contractions had suddenly got worse and, as if to answer me, K___ went into one. It was immediately apparent that it was much stronger than before and while we were discussing this, K___ had another one. K___ likened these contractions to the ones she had experienced after having had her waters broken with Olivia – she’d been on gas and air for those! Marion got me to time the contractions. They were coming in between a minute forty five and a minute thirty apart. Marion sent me downstairs to start filling the pool, a process which takes about an hour.
Just a few minutes later, about eight, as I was still attempting to get the new hose onto the tap connector - before I'd even started filling - Marion came downstairs and said K___ wanted me. Back in the bathroom, K___ was now going into much more frequent contractions and the pain was obviously greater. Marion grabbed a bottle of Entonox, and K___ greedily sucked down the gas and air; she sounded a bit like Darth Vader. She later told me that it doesn't stop the pain, but that it does take the edge off it a little.
My attention was on K___, so when Marion said she was just going to fetch a few things, neither K___ nor I paid that much attention. K___ just wanted to try and get her breath back between contractions and I just wanted to be able to give her the little comfort I could, and try and get her through the next one. It's not until you're back in the middle of another labour that you remember exactly how bloody useless you really are, and how inadequate your words are in this whole procedure, but nevertheless, K___ seemed to get something from having me there. However, I was out of the room, grabbing a bag of equipment for Marion when K___ felt her waters go. By the time I was back in the room, it was very clear from the bathwater that this was indeed the case.
At about ten past eight, Marion had nipped out to get something else when all of a sudden, K___ gasped, 'Tell Marion the baby's coming!' I went out onto the landing to bellow it at poor Marion! She came back in and after a quick examination declared, 'I need to get you out of the bath.' She had only felt a head! Obviously there was one up there, but no one really expected it would be so low so early.
K___ tried to get herself up but was wracked by another contraction while only halfway there, and I had to just try and stop her tipping over. Between the next contractions, we were able to get K___ out of the tub. It was obvious that K___ wasn't going to get into the still-empty birthing pool. Marion asked whether she'd be able to make it into the spare room. Our bathroom is on a half landing, so it was only a short flight of stairs to go. Short when you're not in the most intense pain, that is. Pulling the gas and air with her, with me assisting as best I can, and Marion moving her birthing equipment before us, K___ was able to crawl out onto the stairs on her hands and knees, sucking on the painkiller as contractions continued to hit her. She couldn’t take standing up, so a slow crawl was the best way to keep her moving, albeit with multiple stops on the way. Marion had to tell K___ to try and hang on and not to push as we tried to get up the last few stairs. In the middle of this palaver, our 'door open' buzzer sounded, which meant someone had let themselves in. As Marion went in to K___, I ran down the stairs to see Nicky, our second midwife in the hallway and yelled, ‘the baby’s coming!’ again, only to realise my mother-in-law was behind her - she had unlocked the door for Nicky after it turned out that none of us had heard the doorbell ring. Oh well, she knew it was fairly imminent when we'd dropped Olivia off, so no real harm done. Nicky and I had not actually met before, but there wasn't time for any niceties!
After what seemed like an age, but which according to the midwife’s notes was less than five minutes, K___ managed to crawl into the spare bedroom with the rest of us around her like some sort pit crew. Me giving literal physical support as the contractions occurred and taking the gas cylinder for K___, Marion and Nicky getting their equipment ready for the birth and trying to keep any messy stuff clear off the floor and standing by with the catcher’s mitt. By the time K___ had got into the bedroom she had been so desperately trying not to push while crawling upstairs that she simply didn’t have the strength to get up onto the bed. Instead, she pulled herself up to rest her arms and head on the bed while the midwives busied themselves putting padding on the carpet between and around her legs – the business end, if you will.
Now she knew she could push, she did, and the pain and volume both increased accordingly. I think my perception of time is somewhat warped at this point – though obviously not as much as K___’s. According to Marion’s notes, it was quarter past eight at this point, just fifteen minutes since she’d started on gas and air. I was at K___’s side, rubbing her back and giving words of encouragement. The truth is, I’ve no idea how much she really registered my presence at this point, but it made me feel useful if nothing else. Marion was behind K___ and was giving her encouraging words about how well everything was going. From where I was, I could see what was happening - when OIivia was born, I'd been sitting behind K___ as she sat on the birthing stool so saw nothing until the baby was out - and it was equal parts remarkable and eye-watering. Another contraction and Marion declared the head was crowning. I couldn't see that from where I was, but I could see things bulging in a way that suggested birth was imminent. One more contraction, with loud scream and the head came out. When we had done NCT classes before Olivia, we learned all about which way round the baby comes out, but all that went, and I was staring at this blood and mucus-covered head and I literally couldn't work out what I was looking at. No time to wonder, because with a mighty effort K___ pushed the rest of the body into the world and I just burst into tears.
K___ was dazed and didn't seem to be that bothered about looking at the baby. She had her head on her arms and was trying to get her strength back. I'd say something like, "Well done, darling, she's beautiful!' and K___ would just stare blankly. Poor thing! Behind her, Marion and Nicky were having a discussion about how much blood loss there had been. It was a bit of a gore zone back there; it looked like something out of the horror magazine Fangoria! The midwives estimated the loss to be between 400-500 ml. In the records, it's down as 400, but there was lots of discussion about exactly how much there was. Marion was also carrying out the basic checks on the baby, checking she was breathing, etc. They administered Syntometrine to bring on the third stage of labour - delivery of the placenta - with the amount of blood lost, they didn't think a natural third stage was a good idea.
Marion gave the baby a check over, and then placed her through K___'s legs so she could see her properly. Again, K___ seemed disconnected. Marion asked whether I'd like to cut the cord, and although I did it with Olivia and would have had no trouble doing it again, it was just easier for Marion to do it from where she was. After a few minutes K___ was able to get herself up onto the bed, and the midwives gave a little help 'controlled umbilical manipulation' to get the placenta to come out. Grace was then placed on K___'s chest and was able to start to breastfeed, and K___ began to engage with the new baby. While this was happening, there was some discussion about whether K___ required a couple of stitches in the parts they never mention. They decided that she probably didn't. K___ continued to feed Grace for as long as she wanted until, amazingly, just forty five minutes later K___ and Grace were dressed and sitting back in the lounge awaiting Grandma and Grandpa to pop over for their first visit.
The midwives stayed around for another couple of hours, writing their notes and tidying up for us, and checking K___ was ok and then, just six hours after things had really started moving, we were alone, ready for our first night together. Tomorrow, Grace'd meet her big sister, but for now, it was time for sleep.
Wasn't it..?
Oh, and this is slightly gory in places. Not for the faint hearted or those who don’t want to know about K___’s lady garden in graphic detail.
Sunday, 26th October: K___ had been having occasional movement down below since Saturday, and having her ‘show’ (the blood and mucus plug that has bunging up the cervix for the past few months – it often, though not always, means labour is quite close). I had cleared the breakfast room so we could put up the inflatable birthing pool before I went to bed. The next morning, K___ was having irregular, and not intense, contractions. We dropped Olivia off at Grandma's early afternoon, expecting things to gradually ramp up in intensity, but nothing doing. By five o'clock, K___ was getting a little despondent. Olivia's latent phase had lasted 40 hours and poor K___ was exhausted by the end of it. We’d been in SMS contact with the midwife, explaining that the contractions had been ten minutes apart all day, but weren’t intensifying. At K___’s request, Marion, our midwife, came over to examine K___ for dilation. The thought of another long latent phased was making K___ feel a little anxious and the arrival of the midwife was great for getting her to chill a little (as much as you can when you're getting horrendous cramps every few minutes).
Marion arrived at quarter past five. We were actually eating our tea, and K___ hadn’t had a contraction for about half an hour. The two of them disappeared upstairs and Marion established that K___ was about three centimetres dilated, which was ok, but suggested actual labour was still a little way off. By the time we’d finished eating, chatting to Marion all the while, K___ started having contractions again, this time about five minutes apart, but still not intense. Over the next half an hour, K___’s back began to ache. Marion suggest warm water might ease the discomfort, and so, just after six, K___ headed off for a bath. While she was in there, I quizzed the midwife to get an idea of how long it might be for her to get fully dilated. She said a rough guide would be between a half and one centimetres of dilation per hour, suggesting a likely birth time of around 3am. At about half past six, Marion informed our local hospital that K___ was in labour. Marion and I sat in the lounge trying to find something to watch on TV, and occasionally popping in to see K___; me to offer words of encouragement and cups of tea, Marion to check the baby's heart rate and general progress.
K___ had been in the bath for about an hour and a quarter when I was down in the kitchen (directly below the bathroom) making a cup of tea. I became aware of the sound of moaning coming through the ceiling. Not loud per se, but louder than she had been. When I delivered the tea, I asked whether the contractions had suddenly got worse and, as if to answer me, K___ went into one. It was immediately apparent that it was much stronger than before and while we were discussing this, K___ had another one. K___ likened these contractions to the ones she had experienced after having had her waters broken with Olivia – she’d been on gas and air for those! Marion got me to time the contractions. They were coming in between a minute forty five and a minute thirty apart. Marion sent me downstairs to start filling the pool, a process which takes about an hour.
Just a few minutes later, about eight, as I was still attempting to get the new hose onto the tap connector - before I'd even started filling - Marion came downstairs and said K___ wanted me. Back in the bathroom, K___ was now going into much more frequent contractions and the pain was obviously greater. Marion grabbed a bottle of Entonox, and K___ greedily sucked down the gas and air; she sounded a bit like Darth Vader. She later told me that it doesn't stop the pain, but that it does take the edge off it a little.
My attention was on K___, so when Marion said she was just going to fetch a few things, neither K___ nor I paid that much attention. K___ just wanted to try and get her breath back between contractions and I just wanted to be able to give her the little comfort I could, and try and get her through the next one. It's not until you're back in the middle of another labour that you remember exactly how bloody useless you really are, and how inadequate your words are in this whole procedure, but nevertheless, K___ seemed to get something from having me there. However, I was out of the room, grabbing a bag of equipment for Marion when K___ felt her waters go. By the time I was back in the room, it was very clear from the bathwater that this was indeed the case.
At about ten past eight, Marion had nipped out to get something else when all of a sudden, K___ gasped, 'Tell Marion the baby's coming!' I went out onto the landing to bellow it at poor Marion! She came back in and after a quick examination declared, 'I need to get you out of the bath.' She had only felt a head! Obviously there was one up there, but no one really expected it would be so low so early.
K___ tried to get herself up but was wracked by another contraction while only halfway there, and I had to just try and stop her tipping over. Between the next contractions, we were able to get K___ out of the tub. It was obvious that K___ wasn't going to get into the still-empty birthing pool. Marion asked whether she'd be able to make it into the spare room. Our bathroom is on a half landing, so it was only a short flight of stairs to go. Short when you're not in the most intense pain, that is. Pulling the gas and air with her, with me assisting as best I can, and Marion moving her birthing equipment before us, K___ was able to crawl out onto the stairs on her hands and knees, sucking on the painkiller as contractions continued to hit her. She couldn’t take standing up, so a slow crawl was the best way to keep her moving, albeit with multiple stops on the way. Marion had to tell K___ to try and hang on and not to push as we tried to get up the last few stairs. In the middle of this palaver, our 'door open' buzzer sounded, which meant someone had let themselves in. As Marion went in to K___, I ran down the stairs to see Nicky, our second midwife in the hallway and yelled, ‘the baby’s coming!’ again, only to realise my mother-in-law was behind her - she had unlocked the door for Nicky after it turned out that none of us had heard the doorbell ring. Oh well, she knew it was fairly imminent when we'd dropped Olivia off, so no real harm done. Nicky and I had not actually met before, but there wasn't time for any niceties!
After what seemed like an age, but which according to the midwife’s notes was less than five minutes, K___ managed to crawl into the spare bedroom with the rest of us around her like some sort pit crew. Me giving literal physical support as the contractions occurred and taking the gas cylinder for K___, Marion and Nicky getting their equipment ready for the birth and trying to keep any messy stuff clear off the floor and standing by with the catcher’s mitt. By the time K___ had got into the bedroom she had been so desperately trying not to push while crawling upstairs that she simply didn’t have the strength to get up onto the bed. Instead, she pulled herself up to rest her arms and head on the bed while the midwives busied themselves putting padding on the carpet between and around her legs – the business end, if you will.
Now she knew she could push, she did, and the pain and volume both increased accordingly. I think my perception of time is somewhat warped at this point – though obviously not as much as K___’s. According to Marion’s notes, it was quarter past eight at this point, just fifteen minutes since she’d started on gas and air. I was at K___’s side, rubbing her back and giving words of encouragement. The truth is, I’ve no idea how much she really registered my presence at this point, but it made me feel useful if nothing else. Marion was behind K___ and was giving her encouraging words about how well everything was going. From where I was, I could see what was happening - when OIivia was born, I'd been sitting behind K___ as she sat on the birthing stool so saw nothing until the baby was out - and it was equal parts remarkable and eye-watering. Another contraction and Marion declared the head was crowning. I couldn't see that from where I was, but I could see things bulging in a way that suggested birth was imminent. One more contraction, with loud scream and the head came out. When we had done NCT classes before Olivia, we learned all about which way round the baby comes out, but all that went, and I was staring at this blood and mucus-covered head and I literally couldn't work out what I was looking at. No time to wonder, because with a mighty effort K___ pushed the rest of the body into the world and I just burst into tears.
K___ was dazed and didn't seem to be that bothered about looking at the baby. She had her head on her arms and was trying to get her strength back. I'd say something like, "Well done, darling, she's beautiful!' and K___ would just stare blankly. Poor thing! Behind her, Marion and Nicky were having a discussion about how much blood loss there had been. It was a bit of a gore zone back there; it looked like something out of the horror magazine Fangoria! The midwives estimated the loss to be between 400-500 ml. In the records, it's down as 400, but there was lots of discussion about exactly how much there was. Marion was also carrying out the basic checks on the baby, checking she was breathing, etc. They administered Syntometrine to bring on the third stage of labour - delivery of the placenta - with the amount of blood lost, they didn't think a natural third stage was a good idea.
Marion gave the baby a check over, and then placed her through K___'s legs so she could see her properly. Again, K___ seemed disconnected. Marion asked whether I'd like to cut the cord, and although I did it with Olivia and would have had no trouble doing it again, it was just easier for Marion to do it from where she was. After a few minutes K___ was able to get herself up onto the bed, and the midwives gave a little help 'controlled umbilical manipulation' to get the placenta to come out. Grace was then placed on K___'s chest and was able to start to breastfeed, and K___ began to engage with the new baby. While this was happening, there was some discussion about whether K___ required a couple of stitches in the parts they never mention. They decided that she probably didn't. K___ continued to feed Grace for as long as she wanted until, amazingly, just forty five minutes later K___ and Grace were dressed and sitting back in the lounge awaiting Grandma and Grandpa to pop over for their first visit.
The midwives stayed around for another couple of hours, writing their notes and tidying up for us, and checking K___ was ok and then, just six hours after things had really started moving, we were alone, ready for our first night together. Tomorrow, Grace'd meet her big sister, but for now, it was time for sleep.
Wasn't it..?
wow - no wonder kate was in shock for a bit- all those spaced out contractions and then - bam- straight into the intense final stages of labour! It's like sprinting without a proper warm up! Well done for getting up those stairs (Clara was born on my landing after I refused to budge anywhere!) It sounds like a good birth - chaotic, intense, and not what you'd planned, but none the less I hope it's one you'll remember positively!
ReplyDeleteoh, and you can forget the slepp for a bit!
I want to know how Kate stayed in teh bath for so long - didn't the water go cold?
ReplyDeleteLucy
ReplyDeletex
We do have taps!
ReplyDeleteTo be honest searing pain tends to take your mind off the temperature of the water, but I kept topping it up with hot between contractions.
ReplyDeleteOh my goodness.
ReplyDeleteI just loved reading this!
Way to go, Mummy!