We've just watched the rather entertaining 'Long Way Round' special DVD, in which Ewan McGregor and his friend Charley Boorman motorcycle from London, through Russia, Khazakstan, Mongolia, and back into Russia, across the Bering Strait into Alaska, Canada and finally Nu Yoik whilst having some sort of competition for who could grow the silliest facial hair.
In the final episode, Charley Boorman was rather tearfully recalling a number of UNICEF projects that they'd seen on their journey and comparing the fate of the children they'd seen to what had happened when his sister died of ovarian cancer leaving behind a six-year old daughter.
K___ turned to me and asked who would look after our child if we both died. Our parents are probably the logical people, but I don't actually know the legal position. K___ also remarked that we both need to get wills sorted. We'd been okay up until now because if one of us died, the other would have an automatic right to any posessions etc. Admittedly if we both died, it might have been slightly more difficult, but it wasn't a matter of necessity. With a baby on the way, it absolutely is.
I said that I hoped that should anything happen to me that she would ensure that our child grew up knowing my parents and my brothers. I added, '...even if you remarried, and I would hope you would.' It's important to me that this would happen, and it's probably all too common for bereaved grandparents, uncles and aunt's to be out of contact with the child of their dead child or sibling. I'm quite sure that if I hadn't said anything and something happened to me, K___ would not even think of trying to exclude my family just as it wouldn't occur to me if something were to happen to her. It's still important to be able to say these things, even if you think that there's no chance of it ever happening and even if it's a bit embarrasing or difficult to say, like what I said next.
I turned to K___ and said, 'I hope you know that I never want this to happen, but can you also promise me that if we were to get divorced, you would allow my family to see my child, because whatever happened between us, it wouldn't be their fault.'
It's actually quite awkard to say 'if we ever get divorced' to your wife even if both parties are quite happy with the thought that you're talking hypothetically during a candid conversation, but I felt it was important to say (and K___ agreed). This is not least because the mere thought of your relationship with the person you love most in the world going down the crapper is complete anathema to you, but - and please believe I'm trying not to be sentimental here - soon there's going to be another person who is going to become joint holder of the title 'Person you love most in the world'* and you surely owe it to them, no...?
* Blech! Sorry for that Hallmark Cards moment of crassness there...
In the final episode, Charley Boorman was rather tearfully recalling a number of UNICEF projects that they'd seen on their journey and comparing the fate of the children they'd seen to what had happened when his sister died of ovarian cancer leaving behind a six-year old daughter.
K___ turned to me and asked who would look after our child if we both died. Our parents are probably the logical people, but I don't actually know the legal position. K___ also remarked that we both need to get wills sorted. We'd been okay up until now because if one of us died, the other would have an automatic right to any posessions etc. Admittedly if we both died, it might have been slightly more difficult, but it wasn't a matter of necessity. With a baby on the way, it absolutely is.
I said that I hoped that should anything happen to me that she would ensure that our child grew up knowing my parents and my brothers. I added, '...even if you remarried, and I would hope you would.' It's important to me that this would happen, and it's probably all too common for bereaved grandparents, uncles and aunt's to be out of contact with the child of their dead child or sibling. I'm quite sure that if I hadn't said anything and something happened to me, K___ would not even think of trying to exclude my family just as it wouldn't occur to me if something were to happen to her. It's still important to be able to say these things, even if you think that there's no chance of it ever happening and even if it's a bit embarrasing or difficult to say, like what I said next.
I turned to K___ and said, 'I hope you know that I never want this to happen, but can you also promise me that if we were to get divorced, you would allow my family to see my child, because whatever happened between us, it wouldn't be their fault.'
It's actually quite awkard to say 'if we ever get divorced' to your wife even if both parties are quite happy with the thought that you're talking hypothetically during a candid conversation, but I felt it was important to say (and K___ agreed). This is not least because the mere thought of your relationship with the person you love most in the world going down the crapper is complete anathema to you, but - and please believe I'm trying not to be sentimental here - soon there's going to be another person who is going to become joint holder of the title 'Person you love most in the world'* and you surely owe it to them, no...?
* Blech! Sorry for that Hallmark Cards moment of crassness there...
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