Monday, July 24, 2006

Day 110 - What's My Age Again?

I've recently noticed a couple of things about myself.

1) I'm really bad at telling babies ages and

2) I've started looking at babies all the time.


Actually, maybe I need to deal with those the other way around. I've never been one of those blokes who freaks out if there's a baby near them. I'm quite happy to hold someone's baby if they want, need or indeed will let me and entertain it with my amusing face-pulling repertoire. There's two that go down particularly well - the one with the boggly eyes and the one where I look really stupid (insert your own punchline here:___________________).


However, I wouldn't have gone out of my way to look at a baby before. Now, I find I've got a highly accurate babedar. A babedar, incidentally, is not like a gay-dar for straight people; it's for infants. I'm not stalkerish or anything; I'm not going to get in trouble with the police. It's just that if there's a baby about - perhaps mum is taking the pushchair out for a wander - and I can, then I will have a peer into the pram.


There's a thing called Couvade Syndrome which can affect upto 65% of all fathers-to-be. This is what you or I probably know better as a sympathetic pregnancy. Symptoms can include any of the following: indigestion, increased or decreased appetite, weight gain, diarrhea or constipation, headache, and toothache. Apparently the onset is most common at around about the start of the second trimester and stop with the birth of the child. The experts are still debating what Couvade Syndrome is all about. It has been suggested that some (and indeed all) of the following may be explanations: anxiety, pseudo-sibling rivalry, identification with the foetus, ambivalence about fatherhood, a statement of paternity, or envy of the process of childbirth.

I don't think I've got Couvade Syndrome for a second. The reason why I've been looking at other people's babies is pretty obviously that I'm going to be a father to one in under six months and I'm just interested. I certainly wouldn't characterize it as anxiety. Possibly my weight is Couvade-related. In my case, it'd be particularly noteworthy for the world's medical experts since it pre-empted my wife being pregnant by quite a while. Years, in fact...

Anyway, having looked at all these babies, I've come to the conclusion that I'm crap in telling how old the little blighters are. K___ says that newborns are just smaller, but I don't think it's as simple as that - though obviously that should be a bit of a clue. It seems to me that she picks up on more visual clues than I do. Maybe that's a woman thing or maybe, as she says herself, it's a thing because she's had much more experience being around young babies that I have.


However, today, I was brilliant. I got the age of the baby exactly right. My friend M___ send me a picture of his daughter Mollie (I know I've just violated my anonymity rule, but it's a baby - she won't sue) and I knew the age immediately; newborn. Well done to M___ and, of course, B____. See you in six months!

No comments:

Post a Comment