You've Bored Us All to Death With This

Echoing what F_ had to say the other day I can now declare myself to be thoroughly bored with the whole pregnancy thing. I am the size of a house, feel like a beached whale and am pretty uncomfortable most of the time and just wish to meet my beautiful baby now please. I have been having strong and at time uncomfortable Braxton Hicks all week but have got to the point now where I no longer get excited that this might be the start of labour as it happens every day but never amounts to anything.

Bored now...

Waiting for the World to Change

Another day, another possibility of getting That Call and having to get home as quickly as possible.

It's still early.

Eleven days remain before the due date.

Second babies often come earlier.

Olivia was late.

The second midwife says K___ has a 'tendency to have overdue babies'.

One can hardly be classed a trend, can it?

But still.... Does it mean anything?

Could it really be a month away?

(It could. Please no.)

My phone rings.

Can we have a meeting?

Of course, however, I have to warn you that I may be off on paternity leave at any time.

I can't make a firm committment to anything right now.

Update my Facebook status to say I'm waiting to find out when I'm off on paternity.

Amend it the next day. Too many people wishing 'good luck' as though it's started. It's giving the wrong impression.

Night time. Every time the baby headbutt's K___'s cervix there's a sense of 'could this be it?'

It isn't. Obviously.

Every night, I check my phone to see how much charge it has rather than wait for it to run down.

Waiting.

Anticipating.

Not excited, not anxious, just waiting.

Frustrated? Bored? To some degree, yes.

Waiting.

Rubbish.

No Job, No Money

Friday was my last day at work for 9 months (well almost 10 as I am taking holiday straight after, then coming back for a bit, then taking more holiday). I spent the last week with the girl who is doing my maternity cover, handing over my job. She is only covering parts of my job and one of my staff is covering the rest as I have quite an unusual skill and was appointed to combine two very different posts which were advertised at the same time - librarian and e-learning manager. Anyway she seems really nice and capable so that is a relief as I am a bit of a control freak at the best of times and felt really weird about handing over my job to someone else.

This isn't something I have felt before as last time I went on maternity leave I knew I had no intention of taking my post back up and made this clear to the girl doing my maternity cover, who in fact still has the job to this day. The 80 mile round trip commute (sorry American friends, I know that probably seems like nothing but in the UK that is a fairly good trip) and lack of childcare meant that even before I got a great new job near my parents I always knew I wasn't going back to the old one and so I counted the days until my maternity leave with glee and not with slight panic that I was handing over my other baby, my now efficiently running department, to a stranger to look after.

What made the whole maternity leave thing seem stranger was that as there is no sign yet of the new baby, come Monday morning I will essentially be twiddling my thumbs and playing the waiting game. Nothing will have changed and so it will seem a little odd not to be at work. I am relishing the opportunity to spend more time with Olivia, but this is something I look forward to when I have had the baby and recovered and am able to play with her properly, not when I have a wonky back and a huge tummy and generally feel tired and grumpy.

As my back finally seemed to be on the mend today I spent the afternoon doing a few light chores to get everything ready for the new baby. The crib and moses baskets have been made up, the hospital bags packed 'just in case' and we are now ready for the arrival of number 2. As far as I am concerned she can come tomorrow, but now I have said that we will probably still be sitting here in 4 weeks!