Goodbye to All That

So, we have been discharged from midwife care, mother and baby doing well. I am going to take this opportunity to reflect on my experience of independent midwifery.

Having an independent midwife was great. I really felt supported and that there was someone I could call and ask dumb questions to if I needed. On the NHS you always feel a little like you are taking precious resources away from somewhere else and so you don't like to make a fuss. When you have an independent midwife the whole point is that you are paying for the privilege of having dedicated care. Even our great experience with NHS midwives in Essex was not the same as we always had that feeling that we didn't want to be seen as too demanding. While my personality will always be to not make a fuss and not be a diva, it was nice to know someone was there if I needed them. I had exactly the care that I wanted. It was a lot of money but worth if for my peace of mind. I honestly think that if I had been on the NHS there would have been no midwife present at the birth as everything was so quick that by the time the contractions became close and regular enought to call someone I was about to give birth.

I should never have had to be in this situation as I should have had continuity of care on the NHS. The government bleet on about giving women choice but the system is stretched to breaking point.

Anyway we will miss M_ and would like to say a big thank you to M_, our great midwife. Here we all are at our final appointment. She gives a discount for repeat business but I don't think I'll be taking that offer up as I AM NEVER GIVING BIRTH AGAIN! NOT EVER, EVER, EVER, EVER, EVER.

Complements On Unnatural Size

Ok, so due to popular demand here is a photo of my giant gut. It isn't really that huge in the grand scheme of things, given that I am due in less than a week, and M_, the midwife, thinks that madam is average sized, but the whole thing seems to weight a tonne now and I will be really pleased to pop.

You've Bored Us All to Death With This

Echoing what F_ had to say the other day I can now declare myself to be thoroughly bored with the whole pregnancy thing. I am the size of a house, feel like a beached whale and am pretty uncomfortable most of the time and just wish to meet my beautiful baby now please. I have been having strong and at time uncomfortable Braxton Hicks all week but have got to the point now where I no longer get excited that this might be the start of labour as it happens every day but never amounts to anything.

Bored now...

No Job, No Money

Friday was my last day at work for 9 months (well almost 10 as I am taking holiday straight after, then coming back for a bit, then taking more holiday). I spent the last week with the girl who is doing my maternity cover, handing over my job. She is only covering parts of my job and one of my staff is covering the rest as I have quite an unusual skill and was appointed to combine two very different posts which were advertised at the same time - librarian and e-learning manager. Anyway she seems really nice and capable so that is a relief as I am a bit of a control freak at the best of times and felt really weird about handing over my job to someone else.

This isn't something I have felt before as last time I went on maternity leave I knew I had no intention of taking my post back up and made this clear to the girl doing my maternity cover, who in fact still has the job to this day. The 80 mile round trip commute (sorry American friends, I know that probably seems like nothing but in the UK that is a fairly good trip) and lack of childcare meant that even before I got a great new job near my parents I always knew I wasn't going back to the old one and so I counted the days until my maternity leave with glee and not with slight panic that I was handing over my other baby, my now efficiently running department, to a stranger to look after.

What made the whole maternity leave thing seem stranger was that as there is no sign yet of the new baby, come Monday morning I will essentially be twiddling my thumbs and playing the waiting game. Nothing will have changed and so it will seem a little odd not to be at work. I am relishing the opportunity to spend more time with Olivia, but this is something I look forward to when I have had the baby and recovered and am able to play with her properly, not when I have a wonky back and a huge tummy and generally feel tired and grumpy.

As my back finally seemed to be on the mend today I spent the afternoon doing a few light chores to get everything ready for the new baby. The crib and moses baskets have been made up, the hospital bags packed 'just in case' and we are now ready for the arrival of number 2. As far as I am concerned she can come tomorrow, but now I have said that we will probably still be sitting here in 4 weeks!

They Say the King is Watching His Back Again

On Wednesday Olivia fell over and bumped her head, started to cry and ran to Mummy for a cuddle. This is not remarkable, just the sort of thing which happens on a day with a 'y' in it. What was more note worthy is that I bent down and picked her up to cuddle her. Several hours later cue searing back pain which has continued until now. It finally seems to be settling down but the last few days have been quite painful. Things you take for granted like turning over in bed and getting up off the sofa turned into military operations, often requiring assistance from F_. At least it seems to be settling down before M2 makes her appearance. There is enough back pain in labour without that!

Time Comes Around

37 weeks - welcome ladies and gentlemen to home birth land! Madam can show her face anytime from now to 42 weeks and we are good to go for the birthpool at home. Yay!

Take a Car Into Town

On Friday we went to visit the hospital in our nearby city where I would be transferred if any complications arose during the home birth. I am not a great fan of hospitals and so would rather go and take a look in advance rather than see it for the first time having transferred in labour. So M_ arranged us a visit and we all went off and met her there.

The hospital looked a little tired and in need of a paint and the units were frantically busy but had a friendly atmosphere. One advantage compared to the hospital we would have transferred to in Essex when we lived there was that the room on the labour ward had private bathrooms. The Essex unit has a bathroom shared between two rooms which always struck me as both inconvenient and also unhygienic.

Now we have seen it I feel a lot more relaxed. As we said to the midwife who showed us around, in the nicest possible way I hope we don't see them again!

Take the Right Drugs

Now that the baby had turned head down the only issue to solve before we could relax and wait for the big day was trying to get the Domperidone prescription to enable me to increase my breastmilk once the baby is born.

I had been to see the GP a while ago to ask for the prescription and you'd think I had asked for his life savings! The conversation went something a little like this...

K_: I would like a prescription for Domperidone please
Dr: What do you want that for?
K_: To increase my breast milk once my baby is born please. I had a breast reduction 10 years ago and I had low milk supply with my first baby, which was dramatically increased by using Domperidone.
Dr: I don't know anything about that, you need to ask your obstetrician
K_: Um....what obstetrician?
Dr: The one you usually see.
K_: I haven't seen an obstetrician, I have midwife led care
Dr: There will be an obstetrician where you usually go to clinic
K_: I've only ever been to this surgery for the midwife clinic...
Dr: The hospital where you are having the baby...
K_: I'm having the baby at home and only see midwives.
Dr: Well I don't know anything about it so I'll have to speak to the obstetrician and get back to you.

So off I go, hopeful that I will get a satisfactory resolution soon...

2 weeks go by and I don't hear anything so I phone to be told that the Dr has gone on holiday and that I should phone the following week. So I phone back and cannot get hold of him. When he finally returns my call I am at work, very busy and a bit flustered. Without referring to the fact that I had asked him for Domperidone, he announces that he has spoken to the obstetrician who has recommended Metoclopramide and I can pick my prescription up at the desk. This drug rang an alarm bell in my head but without any of my research with me I was unable to respond to this and just said I would take a look at what it was.

Once I got home and checked the fact I realised that my gut feeling of alarm bells was certainly justified. On the face of it Metoclopramide is a similar drug to Domperidone, it is a dopamine receptor antagonist stomach drug which although unlicenced for this usage does have a side effect of increasing lactation. That is where the similarity ends. Whereas Domperidone has a very low side effect profile with headache and dry mouth being the most common, Metoclopramide is a very nasty drug indeed. Although it is prescribed to increase breast milk this is generally very short term (2 weeks or less) usage in mother of premature babies to get their milk established. The main difference between Metoclopramide and Domperidone is that Metoclopramide crosses the blood-brain barrier and has documented Central Nervous System (CNS) side effects including anxiety, depression and even suicidal thoughts. Then incidence of negative CNS rises if Metoclopramide is used for more than 4 weeks. Metoclopramide is not recommended for those with a history of anxiety and depression.

I had NO intention of taking Metoclopramide as I have a history of anxiety and depression. Although drpression would not necessarily be recorded on my medical records as I have avoided being prescribed antidepressants, my medical history includes treatment for arthritis caused by extreme nightime teeth grinding and use of sleeping pills to manage ongoing insomnia. It wouldn't take a genius to work out that I may not be a great candidate forMetoclopramide at the best of times, but the danger of postnatal depression makes it even less of a brilliant plan.

There was also the concern that Metoclopramide is for very short term use, due the the side effect profile. Quite what the GP expected I would do after the 2-4 weeks maximum usage was up I am not sure.

M_, the midwife, and I discussed things and I emailed her some of the evidence I have collected on the use of Domperidone to increase breast milk supply. She was also not happy for me to take Metoclopramide got on the case and spent several days trying to get hold of the GP. We had been hoping that he might be willing to learn more and discuss the relative merits of the drugs but once she finally got to speak to him he wouldn't even discuss the evidence with her and told her to just take it up with the obstetrician. I'm note sure if he has even bothered to read my notes or find out about either drug. I didn't expect him to be an expert on increasing lactation but I did at leats expect him to be willing to find out more and to discuss clinical evidence with another medical professional.

M_ has been brilliant and got straight on to the obstetrician who works out of the local hospital. He was happy for me to switch to Domperidone and is arranging for a prescription to be available for me to pick up at the hospital. Once I have this I will then be able to request repeat prescriptions from the GP surgery.

Success at last and big thanks to M_ for her efforts in sorting this out for me.

Only Love Will Turn You Around

Well M2 is obviously a good little girl as she has duly turned head down - yay! M_, the midwife, brought the birth pool round and we have to blow it up and see where it will fit. Looks like we could be back on for that water birth then!

You'll Either Kill Me or You'll Save Me

When I go on maternity leave and have a bit more time on my hands I must get around to writing some letters. Just in case you live in the UK and have more time on your hands than me I would encourage you to support the Save Independent Midwifery campaign - you never know when you might need it!

http://www.saveindependentmidwifery.org/

Turn Your Life Upside Down

The midwife came yesterday and the baby is still in breach position at the moment. We still have three weeks left before we need to start worrying but madam really needs to think about flipping herself head down now or else this whole home water birth is looking unlikely.

If she is still suspected breach at 36 weeks we will hopefully go off to Lincoln for a scan to verify the position and then try ECV to try and turn her. If Lincoln will not do ECV for me then then M_, the midwife will try and get us in elsewhere.

M_ has recommended a site called Spinning Babies which includes some exercises to get madam moving. Lets see what happens...

Hope for the Future

M_, the midwife, did a visit again today. Despite a hectic week at work my blood pressure was good and low and no problems were identified. The midwife is still unsure about the position of the baby as it was hard to tell whether it was a bottom or a head she could feel. Judging by the huge kick that was administered to my cervix the other day I would say she is still breech, but no cause for concern for the moment.

Other than that there is nothing much to report. She is coming back next week and we will start doing the birth plan.

And Let the Blood Flow

Last week, while F_ was on holiday with his Dad and brothers, I had some spotting over night. I wasn't really concerned as had seen the midwife the day before, the baby was very active and I had no pain or contractions. But because it was something I hadn't had before with Olivia I thought I would just let the midwife know. A few text messages backwards and forwards and we established that it was fine as it had stopped and that I would get back in contact if anything happened, which it didn't. Not wanting to worry F_ about something that was really nothing I decided not to tell him until he got home.

It is likely to be a bit of cervical ectropion, one of the most common causes of bleeding in later pregnancy. This is basically where there are harmless changes to the cervix which cause a little bleeding. It may well have been caused by the fact that I rather overdid it during the refurbishment of my department at work. I find being pregnant really frustrating as I am normally someone who pitches in and lugs stuff around. I did try to take it easy but obviously not easy enough and so I have to take it a bit easier and not lift anything heavy, and that includes Olivia who weight 27 lbs!

Now all I have to do is persuade Olivia that she wants to go where Mummy wants to go now that I am no longer allowed to just pick her up and shove her under my arm!

She Spends Your Money On Me

For the benefit of S and others who may be wondering the same thing, I will briefly explain how the whole IM things works. You can generally select from a range of packages - antenatal care only, postnatal care only, antenatal + birth, birth + postnatal or the complete works. Most IMs don't tend to offer birth only as it kind of defeats the object of having IM care. We have the full package of antenatal care (generally they offer around 10 appointments and as we have booked later than some we are now on weekly appointments until the birth), home water birth including pool and 28 days postnatal care. You don't pay per hour or for the duration of your labour etc, it is a flat fee with a slightly higher rate for a home birth than a hospital birth. The cost also includes the main IM being on call from 37 weeks and the attendance of a second midwife (also a local IM) for the delivery.

I am still entitled to access the full range of NHS facilities including blood tests and scans and these can be facilitated by my IM. For example our baby is currently breach, which at 31 weeks isn't too much of a concern, but if she is still head down towards the end of the pregnancy it may be necessary to have an additional scan to verify the position of the baby and if definitely breach then have external cephalic version (ECV) to turn the baby prior to birth. If required then both of these procedures will be arranged by the IM and performed on the NHS.

Without going into details about our personal finances with regard to cost, I will quote the IM Association on the subject:

Q: How much do independent midwives charge?

As we are all self-employed, we are all able to choose what we charge but many of us are flexible in how you pay us. The going rate for an IM at the moment is from about £1800 to £4500 (approx) for the whole package of care - this will vary as to where you live in the UK. Most IM's will want to have received payment in full by the time you are 36 weeks pregnant.

The Great Escape

Independent Midwivery has taken some knocks recently that have threatened the very existence of the profession.

The Independent Midwives Association (IMA) state that 'Independent midwives practise outside the NHS, usually not because of a desire to have private clients but because it has become increasingly difficult within the NHS to provide the standard of woman-centred, autonomous midwifery practice they wish to give.' Midwives have become disillusioned with the care they are able to provide on the NHS and want to be able to practice the sort of care that made them want to become midwives in the first place - one to one care to support women to have normal births with minimal intervention. Government proposals to make professional indemnity insurance (PII) compulsory for all independent healthcare providors is not a problem in itself, the problem is that the lack of providers of such insurance and the prohibitive expense of policies will effectively put IMs out of business. The government response to this is to suggest various models that would enable midwives to work under NHS trusts. They suggest that 'The Government are committed to supporting independent midwives to find a method to access indemnity cover, as this is clearly in the public’s best interests.'

The future of the profession remains unclear. The upshot at the moment means that IMs are still legally allowed to practice without PII but possibly not for much longer. For the client this means that although insurance can be obtained for pre-natal and post-natal care it is not currently possible for IMs to obtain insurance for the actual birth. This does not mean that we could not make a claim in the event of negligence causing injury during the birth but it means we would be suing the midwife as an individual and not a professional and so any claim would be settled against their personal assets - house etc. Not good...

The IMA latest new section indicates that as of March 08 'Work on The White Paper ‘ Trust, Assurance and Safety – The Regulation of Health Care Professionals in the 21st Century’ is not expected to be completed before end of 2009 / early 2010. A consultation period will then follow. It is under this White Paper that any changes required to make Professional Indemnity Insurance (PII) mandatory will happen. We will be informed if there is any alteration to this timetable.'

Checkout the Born Stroppy blog for more info and opinion on the subject.

Start Over Again

So, back to beginning, today we started midwifery care again with another booking visit. M_ will be doing weekly visits from now on, at our home and at a time convenient to me. She came over and took a medical history as well as doing all the usual things, urine tests, blood pressure, fetal hartbeat and palpation to determine the position of the baby. All way well.

F_ wasn't there as he has rudely abandoned us to go off on a short holiday with his Dad and brothers but he will get to meet her again next week.

With care and constant attention

Ok, so I went away and checked out the Independent Midwives (IM) Association and found the details of some IMs in our area. Things didn't start too well when the first one I contacted was fully booked and told me another was fully booked also. She did, however, recommend the final IM on my list and said it was worth contacting her as she thought she might have some capacity. We dropped the IM an email and she confirmed that yes, she did have a vacancy, as sadly someone previously booked with her had lost a baby - eeek.

So M_, the midwife, and I arranged an initial meeting for me and F_ to meet with her, talk about her services and see if we clicked and wanted to go forward with her providing our care.

She came round the next evening and we spent about 90 minutes chatting. This represented more time than all the antenatal care I had had in the preceeding 29 weeks put together! She seemed very nice.

The success of the meeting left me with a major problem - how we would ever finance this enterprise. Having recently moved we are still recovering from the financial strain of the move and have to pay off our furniture in October. I couldn't see how we could go ahead and felt despondent. The next day however, lady luck intervened and some unexpected money came my way meaning that we only had a modest portion of the total to find ourselves and so I went ahead and emailed M_ to book her.

Word cannot describe how I feel a great weight has been taken from my shoulders. I hadn't realised just how much stress I had built up over the whole issue of my midwifery care until the issue was taken away. I now feel that I can have the personalised care that I need to have a happy pregnancy, birth and postnatal period. The stubborn part of me does think that I should have been able to have this care on the NHS, as I did in Essex, but I will do what it takes to have the care that makes me feel safe. I will, however, be writing to the Superintendent of Midwives to express my disappointment with the NHS service I have been offered.

Born Free but Scared to Be

I went to see the midwife on Thursday. I was going to talk to her about my concerns that I feel like I don't know her from Adam and worry about who will actually attend at my labour. Everything is so different this time around, not just because it is a second baby but also because of the care that is offered where we now live. When I was pregnant with Olivia we had a team of two community midwives who provided all my care. Every one of the antenatal appointments was carried out by one or other of them, the appointments were much more numerous and we also had the opportunity of 8 antenatal classes to get to know them further. By the time it came to having Olivia we had spent many hours in their company and built up a relationship.

The NHS guidelines on appointments have changed since we had Olivia and for those expecting anything after the first baby you get appointments at 16, 18, 34, 36 and 38 weeks. Randomly they don't seem to see you after 38 weeks until you have the baby....can this be right??? There is a gaping hole in the middle of the pregnancy where you don't have anything apart from a scan for 16 weeks. So very little time to build up a bond with a midwife.

We are registered to have care with a midwife who is associated with our GP practice. Unfortunately when we had our booking visit the midwife was on holiday but we were not told this at the time. As the boooking visit, a lengthy home visit, is one of the best opportunities to actually spend some time getting to know the midwife we would have recheduled this visit if it had been made clear that the person coming was just some random person who was on duty that day and not our normal midwife. Having not had this booking visit with the usual midwife it meant that when I went for the 16 week visit it was just 10 minutes with a stranger and I left feeling like I still didn't know her and she certainly didn't know me and probably wouldn't recognise me in the street let alone know my name. Left alone for 16 weeks I began to fret...

I couldn't help but think back to the excellent continuity of care we had with Olivia, how lovely the midwives were and how safe I had felt. What wasn't clear with the care this time was what would happen if this named midwife was either away or attending someone else at the time of my labour. It seemed likely that, as there was no named second midwife in the team, it would be that, as happened with my sister when she had her last baby, a random stranger from the hospital would turn up.

So, having had some weeks to ferment my discontent, I went along to the 28 week appointment. When I went to check in with the receptionist I noticed that there was a lady in a nurse style uniform standing on the patient side of the desk but as I don't know all the surgery staff I didn't think anything of it. When I gave my name to the receptionist and said I was there for the midwife the lady turned round and said 'Hi, you are with me today'.

She conducted the antenatal appointment as well as you can when you have no idea of the patients medical history other than the scant details in the antenatal notes. When it came to trying to take blood she was apparently unable to get a vein to come up and so asked me to go to the hospital to have my blood taken at the blood lab, thus making a 10 minute visit to the clinic into a bit more of an epic. Good job I wasn't expected back at work anytime soon. That was it apart from the fact that she asked me to come back in 3 weeks - not sure why unless she got confused as to whether it was my first pregnancy as first timers get an additional appointment at 31 weeks.

After the appointment I had to call my little sister, who I knew was off work that day and in town, to ask her if she would mind taking me up to the hospital as it is quite a way away and I don't drive or have access to the car in the daytime even if I did. She kindly agreed and luckily after a 5 minute wait in the queue for the blood technician I spent about 90 second having the blood taken and then left. The technician was so good that I wasn't even sure when she had put the needle in and so broke my golden rule and actually looked at the blood being taken - yuk! So, it turns out I do have veins after all...who would have thought it?

....So.. back to me fretting...At no point had the midwife explained why I was with her rather than the practice midwife. It was only when I asked her directly where the other midwife was that she explained that sadly the other midwife had recently lost her husband and was on compassionate leave. I wouldn't wish that on anyone and obviously have every sympathy with the poor woman. Unfortunately, I wasn't given any indication of how long her absence might be and what alternative arrangements had been made for patient care in the meantime.

Unfortunately this all hasn't done anything to allay my fears about a stranger turning up to delivery the baby. The more I think about it the more worried I get. I don't know when the usual midwife might return (and who could blame her for having an extended period off after such an unhappy event) and just wish we were still in Essex with our old midwives.

I have decided to start investigating what we can do about the situation. The working practices of the NHS midwives in our area just don't seem like they will give me the continuity and frequency of care that I want and feel I need and so I am now looking into the options for private care.

The Wounds that Burn So Deep

The other week I was cooking lunch for some friends who were breaking a long journey by spending an hour or two with us. They have a daughter who is six months older than Olivia and also a new baby who we had not yet met. We were very much looking forward to catching up with them, comparing babies and stories and generally chilling out.

So, it is Saturday lunchtime and frantic preparations are under way - tidying, cooking, dealing with Olivia. Not convinced that Mummy and Daddy were working quite hard enough Olivia decided to stick her entire fist in her mouth and was promptly sick in the play pen. Frantic cleaning of small sicky smelling child, sicky smelling playpen and sicky smelling toys.

By this time Mummy is getting very stressed and it trying to do a million things at once and not doing any of them very well. So, trying to get the food sorted before the guests arrived I was making a frittata and a pasta salad at the same time. I got the frittata pan out of the oven with the oven gloves and set it down and turned around to stir up the pasta salad. Rushing to get everything done I turned back and without even thinking about it I picked up the frittata pan by the handle. Yes, trusty readers, that would be the frittata pan that has just come out of the oven.

I often find that in situations such as this there is a sort of brain delay while I undergo a kind of internal dialogue along the lines of 'hmmm...this is very hot...I ought to put it down', all the while continuing to hold the very hot thing. There is also an internal alarm system telling me not to make a mess or damage anything by throwing down the pan....all the while continuing to hold the very hot thing. So I gently set the pan back down on the mat, not wanting to ruin the work surface. It is at this point I realise that I really have quite burnt myself and move to run it under cold water. F_ came running at my shouts but I couldn't really show him what I had done because it hurt too much to take it out from under the cold water. So he called my Mum from over the road for a second opinion on what was to be done. We all decided that a trip to hospital was required and so Mum volunteered to take Olivia while we were away.

Of course we were now less than an hour away from our guests arriving and it was abundantly clear that we were not going to be doing any entertaining that day. F_ regretfully had to give them a call on the road and send our apologies and we set off for the casualty department with my hand in a bowl of water with ice-packs.

We checked in at the desk, making sure that they knew I was 24 weeks pregnant, and sat down to wait. It cannot have been more than about 2 minutes before we were taken through to an exam room and a very jolly male nurse checked out my hand. By now, with just a wet tea towel on my hand I was in considerable pain and so they sat me down with a bowl of ice cold water and said that when I was comfortable someone would come and dress the burns.

At this point they gave me some pain relief.. Unfortunately there seems to be a bit of a gap in the market between paracetamol and an epidural! So...paracetamol it was. Now let me assure you that paracetamol REALLY doesn't cut it in this situation but due to being pregnant there was nothing else they were willing to give me. After 2 hours of my hand in cold water a new nurse came along to dress my hand. I explained that my hand was still very painful and the new nurse asked me what I had already had and when I told her paracetamol she said 'Oh don't worry I'll get you something stronger'. As I was sitting hunched over the bowl of cold water which was resting on a hospital bed my bump was kind of hidden. Once I pointed out that I was pregnant she apologised and said that in that case she didn't think there was anything else they could do for me but she would find out. Consultation amongst about 5 members of staff brought us all back around the the original conclusion that no, paracetamol was where it was at.

So, I took my hand out of the water and the nurse gave me some sterile cloths to dry it gently while she got some weird petroleum jelly gauze stuff ready. My hand was really starting to burn but I tried to give them the benefit of the doubt that the dressing would sooth it, and so the nurse started to apply the gauze. Unfortunately she had not got far before I just couldn't take the pain anymore and begged her to let me put my hand back in the ice-water and so the poor nurse had to take the dressings back off and back in the water went the hand. At this point we realised that there was really nothing more that the hospital could do for me that I couldn't do at home and so we asked if we could keep my hand in water and take the dressings home and hope that later I could take the dressing being applied. By this point I had several blisters forming on the palm of my hand and also up each of my fingers.

So back in a bowl of water went my hand, F_ gathered up an armful of stuff the nurses gave us and off we went back in the car and headed back to Mum's. F_ was due to drive down to London for a gig, his friend having brought the tickets as a birthday gift. Although he offered not to go, I couldn't really see what would be achieved by him sticking around and so he went off, leaving me in the capable hands of Mum. Ever the hero she stepped back into her weekday routine of nappy changing and baby feeding while I continued to sit with my hand in a bowl of water. Every time I took it out of the water it literally felt likeI was hold it over a naked flame.

9 hours, lots of ice-packs, more paracetamol, several DVDs and half a pack of Haribo later and I realised that it was now gone 11 and I was getting very tired. I had tried throughout the day to take my hand out of water and Mum had a abortive attempt to try and dress it again at about 4 but the pain was too much but I really couldn't go to bed with my hand in water so I just had to grit my teeth and dress the hand.

You know that thing you do when you are a kid where you held your hand over a bunsen burner or whatever and see how long you can keep it there until it gets too hot? Well, that was my hand out of water. Anyway I put on the stinky jelly dressing and tried to settle down in bed. The only way I could get any relief was to wedge it under my thigh so that firm pressure was applied all over my hand.

Amazingly I was so exhausted I managed to sleep till morning and the next day was a revelation. - strangely I wasn't in any pain at all. Obviously the dressing had made a difference after all.

I had to go back to the hospital on the Monday to have it checked and re-dressed, and to the GP surgery on the Wednesday for further checks and dressings. That was last week and now I have all the dressings off and although it intially looked like the skin was sticking back down on the blisters it has now all peeled off leavong raw looking red patched over my pal and fingers. It should heal nicely though and I don't think it will scar.

Pros and Cons of burning yourself:

Pros:
You don't have to change any poopy nappies for a week at least

Cons:
Searing pain, that I swear was worse than giving birth!

And When She Moves

Daddy finally got to feel M2 move today. She has been doing some huge kicks over the last few days and is finally making herself known to the outside world. Grandma was next in line and also got to fell a few kicks. M2 is certainly an active baby. I would normally manage the obligatory 10 kicks they make you look for on kick charts by lunchtime!

We also went shopping for a few bits and bobs for the new baby. Wanting to get it all done under one roof and see as wide a choice as possible we decided to go the the BabiesRUs superstore in Cambridge having come across the following link:

http://www.toysrus.co.uk/framestatic.aspx/newstores/
newbrustores.html?zone=Bru

It turns out, however, that the link was out of date and the store has been converted back to a normal ToysRUs with, according to a member of staff there, what is now the smallest baby department of any branch in the country! So basically we had a long and very hot car journey for nothing and ended up having to order some stuff on the Internet when we got home.

Needless to say I have dropped ToysRUs a line to let them know what I think...