It was my youngest brother's wedding do on Friday. Actually, it wasn't. He's been married for three and half weeks. It's all rather complicated. He was supposed to get married in Venezuela, but they couldn't arrange that, so they ended up having a last minute registry office wedding in Brighton about five minutes before they went to South America.
After a fairly grim journey down to Brighton (the tail end of two hurricane's meant that visibility on the motorway was severely reduced - we're not talking Katrina here by any stretch of the imagination, but it was certainly giving it some), we checked into our hotel. Once changed, we met up with my other brother and his girlfriend and my ma and pa and set off.
It was still raining, but it was only a few hundred yards or so to the venue. Should have taken five minutes tops and most of us had umbrellas. We'd got no more than a few yards down the road when it got a bit worse. It was debated whether we should go back, but it being so near, we decided to go on. At the precise point where we were definitely too far from the hotel to go back, the skies opened and the God Lord took a most Almighty piss of truly biblical proportions upon us. The fat gobs of rain seemed to be the size of marbles, and actually smarted as they smacked on my baldy head!
It was at this point that K___ learned that pregnant women really can't run. Normally, if one were caught in a deluge like this, you'd just run to the nearest doorway and be okay. But she just couldn't do it. Naturally K___ was wearing party shoes, not dressed for inclement weather and her feet were drenched in seconds of this.
We tried fitting six people into the world's smallest doorway, but that didn't work. I was actually on the bottom step trying to use the brollies to keep myself dry, but to no avail. Every so often, the rain was too heavy and would just slosh over the edge of the brolly and on to me and others. I was truly soaked by this point, so K___ and I decided to go on. It could have kept it up for another hour for all we knew.
I could describe this journey in microscopic detail but I won't. We moved between every slight overhang the Kemp Town shop fronts afforded us and eventually got into the bar. Fortunately, since my suit was only on its second wear, it had that slightly water-repellent thing going on, and I was able to brush a lot of the water straight off with my hand, and obviously I have a wipe-clean head. K___ disappeared into the ladies and attempted to use the hand dryer to do what she could with her dress and cardigan.
Shortly after came my mother and father. My poor ma had a red and black dress of what looked like silk and it had hungrily sucked up the water into the bottom foot or so. Finally my brother and his other half made it.
And, in the single most predictable twist since the Milwaukee Cannibal turned out to be a poor choice of dinner date, about five minutes later the rain stopped altogether. Later on the sun came out with a vengeance and the rest of the celebration took place in blinding sunshine.
After a fairly grim journey down to Brighton (the tail end of two hurricane's meant that visibility on the motorway was severely reduced - we're not talking Katrina here by any stretch of the imagination, but it was certainly giving it some), we checked into our hotel. Once changed, we met up with my other brother and his girlfriend and my ma and pa and set off.
It was still raining, but it was only a few hundred yards or so to the venue. Should have taken five minutes tops and most of us had umbrellas. We'd got no more than a few yards down the road when it got a bit worse. It was debated whether we should go back, but it being so near, we decided to go on. At the precise point where we were definitely too far from the hotel to go back, the skies opened and the God Lord took a most Almighty piss of truly biblical proportions upon us. The fat gobs of rain seemed to be the size of marbles, and actually smarted as they smacked on my baldy head!
It was at this point that K___ learned that pregnant women really can't run. Normally, if one were caught in a deluge like this, you'd just run to the nearest doorway and be okay. But she just couldn't do it. Naturally K___ was wearing party shoes, not dressed for inclement weather and her feet were drenched in seconds of this.
We tried fitting six people into the world's smallest doorway, but that didn't work. I was actually on the bottom step trying to use the brollies to keep myself dry, but to no avail. Every so often, the rain was too heavy and would just slosh over the edge of the brolly and on to me and others. I was truly soaked by this point, so K___ and I decided to go on. It could have kept it up for another hour for all we knew.
I could describe this journey in microscopic detail but I won't. We moved between every slight overhang the Kemp Town shop fronts afforded us and eventually got into the bar. Fortunately, since my suit was only on its second wear, it had that slightly water-repellent thing going on, and I was able to brush a lot of the water straight off with my hand, and obviously I have a wipe-clean head. K___ disappeared into the ladies and attempted to use the hand dryer to do what she could with her dress and cardigan.
Shortly after came my mother and father. My poor ma had a red and black dress of what looked like silk and it had hungrily sucked up the water into the bottom foot or so. Finally my brother and his other half made it.
And, in the single most predictable twist since the Milwaukee Cannibal turned out to be a poor choice of dinner date, about five minutes later the rain stopped altogether. Later on the sun came out with a vengeance and the rest of the celebration took place in blinding sunshine.
No comments:
Post a Comment