Sunday, October 15, 2006

Day 191 - Caught Red Handed Showing Feelings

I'm not one of those resolutely no-emotions type blokes at the best of times. I'm sure I have my moments of being emotionally repressed but I don't think I'm the sort of man to claim showing emotion is unmasculine.

One thing I have noticed is that I'm increasingly likely to get emotional about things now. There must be a lot of grit in the air at our house or something... Part of this, I'm sure, is simply that as you grow up, you become more sensitised to things. When I was a teenager, I would watch movies with intense violence in them and would enjoy it. Now I'm likely to wince.

Things with babies in make me feel extremely emotional. K___ has previously mentioned we watch the series Grey's Anatomy. There are quite often stories about babies. Often, as you might expect, these stories can have quite distressing themes. One involved an intern being made to sit up and watch over a premature quad with under-developed lungs on the orders of a pediatrician. This was ordered in the full knowledge that the baby would die with or without the intern being there, in order to try and get her to understand she couldn't afford to become too close. Got some grit in the eyes there (he said, thus proving that he has no problems with being emotional and definitely doesn't try and cover it up with some ridiculous story about having some grit in his eye, and that is definitely true and everything...)

I suppose that I worry a little about being bathetic or mawkish, but in the grand scheme of things, it's no bad thing to be a bit sensitive. As long as I don't start crying at things like Emmerdale or Bird Watching With Bill Oddie, I suppose. Or during meetings at work. That would be quite bad.

I recently got back in contact with an old friend from college that I'd not spoken to in nigh on a decade. He has moved to the States and married and earlier this year, his son was born. He confessed to me that he'd bawled his eyes out at the birth and I said I was confidently expecting to do the same. I suppose just hadn't really expected it to start kicking in the way it has before my child is actually born.

I must go; a red autumnal leaf just fell from a tree outside my window. It was rich with symbolism and metaphor and now some grit has got in my eye...

No comments:

Post a Comment