Day 214 - The Nappies

Coldplay are often thought of as dour Bono wannabes and indeed singer Chris Martin often appears to be very bum-faced. However, as anyone who has seen Martin's screamingly funny interview with Ricky Gervais, the man is perfectly able to laugh at himself.

When I was writing the previous entry for this blog, I was trying desparately hard to come up with a music-related title that wasn't the awful 'If You're Nappy and You Know It' (mainly because I'd already used that Sun-eque headline) and did a bit of a Google for 'Nappy Lyrics'. Well, there's some band called 'Nappy Roots' and their stuff took up the first four pages, but then I found something perfect and that gave me the title for the previous entry. However, I'm not aware that this is hugely well known, so I'm going to post the whole thing and damn the copyright implications. (Buy Coldplay's music. Even the dour, bum-faced stuff. There; that should satisfy 'em.)

Anyway, when Martin and Gwyneth Paltrow's daughter Apple was born, Coldplay and their producer recorded a track called 'The Nappies' as a glam/rap band of the same name. Here's the lyrics... I like the Aerosmith bit at the end.

The Nappies - The Nappies

Sometimes you're happy sometimes you're brown,
with your hormones bouncing up and down.
Sometimes you?re happy sometimes you?re sad
it?s a weird nine months with you I've had.
There is shit going down that you can't disguise
when your boobs gone up ten times in size,
your cups gone up from an A to D,
its bad for you but its fun for me.

Now just because a little rumpy pump,
now you're walking round with a great big bump
You might think a bit of French and you should have said non
Or at least you would have made me put a condom on
I think you might find that its really fun
I know its no use unless you make it bun
its something to learn yeah it really is,
now you know what that sticky stuff is

I'll be there with you baby through the thin and the thick
I'm gonna clean up all the poo and the sick
I'll be there to make you happy and keep everything clean
I'll change the nappies through the washing machine
?Cause I ain't no baddy, I ain't no baddy,
I ain't no baddy, I am your baby's daddy.

Oh!
Who!

Sometimes you think "what a fool I am
why did I marry this soulful man"
Now a baby's part of my family plan
can it kick me well yes it can
My name's Ken and I've got fleas
do you like being a daddy?
Yeah, defiantly.
Well I have to warn you although its fun
there are times when you wish you had been a nun

I'll be there with you baby through the thin and the thick
I'm gonna clean up all the poo and the sick
I'll be there to make you happy and I'll bring in the bread
I'll be the nanny you can go out instead
I know that you'll be grumpy, that's what everyone says
and you're not going to hump me for 43 days
If you don't want more babies and you cannot disguise it,
Then I'll take my cock and vasectimize it
?Cause I ain't no baddy, I ain't no baddy,
sometimes I make you saddy
I ain't no baddy
I ain't no baddy I ain't no baddy I am your baby's daddy
(beat box)
Mother!
Mother!
I ain't no baddy I ain't no baddy
I ain't no baddy I am you're baby's daddy
Ho!
Break it down now,

She told me to crawl this way, bawl this way
She told me to crawl this way, bawl this way
She told me to crawl this way, bawl this way
She told me to crawl this way, bawl this way