Did You Cry When They Dragged You Home?

Have finally got round to sitting down and blogging about an article which I read in the Times the other day:

http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/comment/columnists/melanie_reid/article6101189.ece

The author seems to be suggesting that while we should all have a choice for our delivery, those of us who have home births are big fat-headed idiots, while she is practically perfect in every way...

She starts with a very lazy bit of journalism - pick a cliche and go with it.

"Disgraceful stereotyping it may be, but it is impossible to deny that home births are the preserve of homely, principled types who may then go on to breastfeed their child until it goes to secondary school..."

Why is it impossible to deny? Although I am partial to wearing flipflops for 6 months of the year I also have a pair of killer Gucci heels so high they are like wearing stilts.

"Frankly, it doesn't matter how safe home deliveries are proven to be...
...this is about quashing the entirely whimsical, perverse idea that we should turn our backs on modern medicine's starring role in safe childbirth...."

Modern medicine... hmmmmmmm. MRSA, under resourcing and understaffing are also features of the 'modern' NHS which the author choses to neglect. It also ignores the fact that there are lots of brilliant, modern, highly trained and expert midwives out there. All carry the essentials of childbirth such as recusitation equipment but some are also able to administer antibiotics during labour, Pethedin, perform neonatal checks, deliver breach and VBAC babies etc. Modern medicine can be brought in to the home and is not the preserve of the hospital and this attitude does a disservice to all the community and indepentent midwives out there working hard to give women a choice.

What I particularly don't understand is that the author admits that "researchers have revealed that women in the “low-risk” category who gave birth at home were just as safe as those who did so in hospital." and that "home delivery - if we may steal the expression back from the age of internet shopping - is as lacking in danger for the large majority as giving birth in hospital is" but yet then goes on to suggest,

...How utterly spoilt some women are, how complacent, that they think they can manage without wonderful things like blood transfusions, anaesthetic, surgery, antiseptic techniques and obstetric technology, which, in a century, a blink of an eye for womankind, reduced maternal and infant mortality almost to zero."

This seems to be entirely at odd with her earlier statement that "This is not about encouraging the unnecessary medicalisation of a perfectly natural condition". The above is EXACTLY about the unnecessary medicalisation of a perfectly natural condition! Many women, whether in hospital or at home manage perfectly well without transfusions, anaesthetic and surgery. Why is antiseptic the preserve of hospitals? My midwife washed her hands and used gloves, which come to think if it is more that some hospital staff do!

My rant must come to a premature end there I'm afraid as I currently have a toddler trying to stuff a pair of fairy wings in the DVD player...

Let Me Tell You A Story

Last night we took Olivia along to our old NHS ante-natal class on the invitation of D__ and K__, our midwives. We were to turn up and and tell prospective mothers about our experience of birth.

I had phoned K___ from work during the day to hear her sound extremely frazzled due to a refusal on Olivia's part to settle. I got back home at about six pm and she was still being quite noisy and restless and I suspected she probably wouldn't enjoy the mauling of limbs that ensues everytime she has to be put in her snow suit. It was therefore a bit of good news when K suggested we take her in just trousers, top and jacket, though she still wasn't down with the whole jacket/arms interfacing. There was a little light rain during the ten minute walk to the clinic where the class would take place but at least Olivia seemed to chill out a little.

We were the first to arrive and it was good to see D__ and K__, not least because Olivia had been formally discharged by D__ the previous Tuesday after our return from Grantham. The class soon filled up with heavily pregnant women and their partners. One of the other couples from our class arrived with their baby, a week and a bit younger than Olivia and it was nice to compare notes, even if I have to admit that the other dad and I were exchanging views on how impressive a baby's farting ability can be.

Olivia was being a bit fussy and I had to take her off into another room as the first couple started to relate their story and change her nappy. Upon my return she still didn't settle quite as well as we would have hoped and kept threatening to break out into grizzles. Honestly, you'd think she'd have learned not to show Mummy and Daddy up in public. It's not like she's a ba...

The other couple went first and I know that it wasn't just me thinking to myself that their story covered much the same ground as ours was going to. There was the inordinately long first stage of labour caused by a baby that was back to back and not putting pressure squarely on the uterus. The breaking the waters bit. There was the wanting to give up bit... Ultimately, the girl ended up having a longer labour than K___ and eventually had to have a C-section, and it was obviously in hospital, but there was a lot in common between the two stories.

I think we managed to add a bit to what the first couple had said, and we made a point of saying that we probably weren't the most typical of births and they'd most likely have much quicker ones. I got a cheer - pretty much exclusively from the men for some reason - for saying that if you've gone overdue, sex was essential, with a bit of a nudge and a wink! We got a polite round of applause at the end, which was nice considering we'd not done very much really.

It felt weird being back amongst all these pregnant women. Don't they even know what happens when a baby gets born? How do they cope!

Olivia's Birth, Part Two

I spent Monday having intermittent pains. It turned out that having been LOL for much of the latter pregnancy and looking like she was working her way round the front, our little one had managed to get herself LOP and so the lack of consistent pressure on the cervix was making everything stop-start.

I finally got into established labour at 9 pm on Monday night. At midnight I was examined and was at 5 cm. At 4 am I was examined again and was still at 5 cm. After my second sleepless night and long hours of on-off pain, I got very upset and said I couldn't do it anymore but my wonderful midwife and supportive husband helped me get back on track. The midwife explained my options for staying at home and the circumstances under which she would recommend transferral. As a great advocate of home birth, she reassured that we had initial options that were effectively the same as they would do at hospital - breaking of the membranes which could speed along a home birth as long as the colour of the waters was ok, and would mean hopefully no need to transfer. I was very scared, in pain and saw a long road ahead and was not very rational but Dad_to_Be, Mum and I had a quick chat and they boosted my flagging strength. Although I was scared that having my waters broken would take thing to a level of pain that I wouldn't cope with too quickly, it was by far the best decision as I think that continuing as we were going would have ended in me transferring in with exhaustion.

I had my membranes broken at 4.30 am and despite being 9 days overdue the waters were clear. Thinking we may well still have some long hours ahead of us my midwife suggested Dad_to_Be might want to get some sleep for an hour or 2 as my Mum was also on hand to support me - we all agreed that it would be beneficial for someone in the equation to get some rest and be able to maintain a sense of logical judgement if tricky decisions needed to be made later.

Having coped with just the TENS to this point I started on gas and air which made it easier to cope with the stronger and longer contractions. We planned to let my husband sleep till 7 and then examine me again to see what progress had been made. The increased pressure on the cervix was obviously just what we needed to get things progressing nicely. My lovely midwife had thought we would be going for some time to come but after a trip to the loo at 6.50 am, I suddenly felt like things were very different. Having read lots of birth stories and attended NHS and NCT ante-natal classes I knew what it meant when I had a huge contraction and suddenly thought I needed the biggest poo of my entire life! I had to open the bathroom door and call out to the midwife that I thought the baby was coming. My Mum went off to wake up Dad_to_Be with the words, 'You need to wake up now, the baby is coming,' and both myself and the midwife laughed in the other room as we heard him wake up and leap out of bed seemingly in one movement - bless him.

My midwife admitted afterwards that she was a little doubtful that I had made so much progress so quickly given the rest of the labour, but asked if I wanted to go on the birth stool. By this point Dad_to_Be was sat behind me providing physical and emotional support while I sat on the stool. What happened next took us all rather by surprise as the second stage of labour lasted literally 5 minutes. A few big contractions and the midwife proclaimed that she could see the head. One huge contraction started and she said the head was out but as I was still only halfway through the contraction at this point the rest of the baby just followed after and Olivia was born happy and healthy weighing 8 lbs 5 oz. The second midwife arrived just as the baby had been born.

I had initially planned to try for a physiological third stage with the cord to be cut once it has stopped pulsating but had indicated that I would be willing to have the injection if required . Given the epic duration of the stop-start labour and my general exhaustion the midwife had already asked me earlier if I would consider the injection once the cord had stopped pulsating and I had agreed that things had really gone on long enough. Once the cord stopped pulsating my husband cut it. He hadn't been sure if this was something he had wanted to do but in the moment he was delighted to do it, with tears in his eyes. The midwives administered the injection to deliver the placenta and asked me to lay down (as it later transpired they were concerned about the bleeding). The third stage took a total of 5 mins.

Just a few days later, the memories are staring to fade already. It turned out that my Mum, Dad_to_Be, and the midwife had been having mini conferences whenever I was in the toilet about how to boost my morale and support me to succeed in the home birth that they knew was so important to me. Overall, even despite the long and exhausting labour, my home birth experience was very positive - although for about 5 mins at 4 am, Olivia was going to be an only child :) I would definitely home birth again for any future (!!!!) pregnancies.

Olivia's Birth, Part One

This is going to be long, and will take me a few days to complete, for which I apologise. We'll try and post some post-birth stuff too.


Since D___'s visit the day before, I was fairly convinced that the baby wasn't going to put in an appearance until the middle of next week. Sunday afternoon I went and spent a couple of hours with Nana and then popped in to see my mother - my dad is still in Scotland trying to cope with Granny and the problems there. At both Nana and Ma's, I'd mentioned that the midwife had suggested it might be a few more days.

When I returned I was greeted by K___ saying that she had been having contractions since about four o'clock. They were irregular and not too painful and we were excited (and a little apprehensive) at the thought that labour could finally have come and that we would get to meet our daughter at long last.

After that, the contractions became a bit more regular and a quite a lot more painful. We watched a thriller on the idiot's Lantern until ten and then we decided that although K___ wasn't yet getting regular contractions, perhaps it would be sensible to give the midwives a heads up, so she texted them. A few minutes passed and then D____ phoned. She said that by the sounds of things, K___ was too erratic just now. It could all just stop and we needed to wait for things to become a bit more regular before she would consider coming out.

K___ wanted to try and get some rest, and settled down to see if she could sleep through it, but it quickly became apparent that this wasn't going to happen. We ended up putting on a DVD in the bedroom as I sat there timing the contractions and writing the results on the back of an old envelope that I found to hand.

By about 1 am, we'd decided that being in the bed wasn't helping and had moved into the living room. Every time a contraction hit, I would try my best to soothe K___, rubbing her skin and saying things that, even as I said them, I was aware were a bit insufficient and bland, particularly after the millionth time of repetition. K___, however, seemed to appreciate them. I don't know how aware she was of what I was saying, more that I was saying things at all. I'm glad she was getting the benefit from my words, such as it was, but I did feel quite impotent to do anything much more useful. As the evening progressed, K___ started to lean on me, bracing herself against the contractions.

Things had really begun to settle into a regular pattern and so I phoned D____. She sounded really terribly sleepy and a part of me felt quite bad about disturbing her. However, she must be used to it and soon perked up. She said she'd be over as soon as possible. It took her quite a while to get to us as she had to get a birthing stool from the hospital. I kept checking out of the window and happened to be glancing out as her car pulled up behind mine and went to help with her bags.

Wouldn't you know it? As soon as the midwife arrived, the contractions started to tail off in frequency. D____ explained that this was quite common, probably something to do with the fact that the women find the midwives a comfort to be around, and accordingly de-stress. Not terribly convenient though. In the time D____ was in the house, the contractions just slowed down until they were about every 15 minutes. D____ suggested that they would probably go back to what they were pretty quickly. Unfortunately, they didn't. K___ agreed to have an internal examination and D___ discovered that she was two centimetres dilated. We also found out that our darling daughter had somehow contrived to move from the optimum LOA (Head down the left hand side, facing mum's tummy) to the worst possible position, LOP (head down the left hand side, but facing mum's back). Little minx! In the end, D____ said she was going home and we should ring again when the contractions were every three minutes apart. We asked how long that might be, but she didn't know and didn't want to jinx it by saying anything. It was about 2.00 am when she left.

The early hours passed quickly. We didn't have the television on or music. We just waited for each contraction to hit. Kate would moan and I would try and comfort her and get a reasonably accurate timing on each one. I knew I was tired, but I didn't actually feel sleepy. For K___ sleep would have been impossible anyway. By five o'clock, K___ was having a contraction every four minutes, each one lasting about two minutes. They seemed to consist of one large wave of contraction, followed by a smaller one after about thirty seconds of 'down time'. Many times we thought the contraction had passed only for the smaller one to catch her unawares.

At six, the contractions were so regular that we phoned K___'s mother in Lincolnshire to tell her to make the journey down, in the expectation that the baby could even be out before she could arrive. At seven, we phoned D____ again. She took about half an hour to arrive and while we were waiting, we were getting perturbed by the fact that the damn contractions seemed to be slowing down again. By the time that D___ actually arrived, the contractions were coming every ten minutes or so, and much less forcefully.

"Don't worry," said D____, "they'll be back in no time..."

But they weren't.

Day 287, 288, 289 - Welcome to the Real World

I'm thrilled and honoured to announce the arrival of Olivia Angela M________, born 7.11 am 16th January 2007 after a rather considerable labour that began at 4.00 pm on Sunday 14th. Given that the first stage of labour took about 40 hours, it was something of a surprise when she was born within five minutes of her head becoming visible!

She weighs a splendid 8lbs 5oz and we're not 100% sure yet, but she may be a redhead like her mummy.

Mother and baby are both doing well, but are having a well-deserved rest after not sleeping since Saturday night.

I hope you all enjoy the pics. More when we recover...

Day 286 - T Plus 6 Days... ...and Counting

Both the midwife and the reflexologist agreed independently that things aren't quite ready to go just yet...damn.

Sweep wasn't the nicest thing I've ever had happen to me but wasn't so bad. Funnily enough the midwife said that some women cannot deal with it, which seems strange as it wasn't exactly in the same league as I imagine pushing a baby out of your delicate lady parts will be!!!! I fear some people may be in for a rather rude awakening if they thought the sweep was bad!

Have further sweeps booked for Monday and Wednesday. Usually our hospital would want to start induction next Friday but our compromise is to have a fetal wellbeing scan on Friday and start daily monitoring to allow things to go on for a few more days as nature intended.

Hopefully she'll come along of her own accord before then.

Day 285 - T Plus 5 Days... ...and Counting

Friday proved equally uneventful....bugger!